The quite excellent article by Amara Nwankpa contained an action for readers to click on a link and have their say on what attributes the next Nigerian President should have. That got me thinking on what an attribute is.
In philosophy, an attribute is an abstraction of a characteristic of an entity or substance. Or perhaps even of a being. Dictionary.com defines it as a ‘quality, character, characteristic or property’
With this mind, I have thought long and hard about what qualities I would want to see in the next Chief Executive Office of Nigeria Incorporated. These qualities would be intrinsic and be sort of a base level of attributes regardless of your ideology, political, tribal and/or ethnic affiliation.
A lot of the ideas for the attributes I want in a President below have been influenced in some measure by two things. The first are the conversations I have had with my friend Kenechukwu Umeasiegbu. A consummate intellectual and knowledge-seeker for the sake of knowledge-seeking, Kene is also one of the most single-minded and driven individuals I know.
From his days in student politics at the University of Nigeria Nsukka where he graduated with a 2-1 in Geology (hons), to when he contested for a position on the National committee of the International organizations for students AIESEC, Kene has always been driven by the force of ideas. My conversations with him are always refreshing, highly anticipated, catalysts to more thinking on my part and always over far too soon.
The second is an article by a Professor of the University of Ibadan (I forget his name right now) writing for the Comet newspapers of Nigeria. The article in question must have been published more than 10 years ago but I remember being powerfully moved by it and considered listing the attributes outlined in it back then and plotting how to acquire each and every one of those attributes. And yes… I (once) harbour(ed) dreams of becoming President of Nigeria. We are all allowed to dream.
The rest of the ideas I have put down here are a result of my travel and experiences in Europe and New Zealand; of living in societies where the rule of law reigns supreme and society has inbuilt characteristics that enable it to continually renew and improve itself. Based on these and so much more, the following, in no particular order of importance are the attributes I want in the next Nigerian President.
Ideas-driven. The next Commander-in-chief of the Armed Forces of Nigeria must have ideas; Ideas that drive him towards a vision. A vision that he has put a lot of thought into and that he believes in. A belief and commitment to his vision is of course vital. It should be a vision that he has articulated and laid bare for the whole world to see. He will have ideas flying out from his head and these ideas will be the drivers to his vision. A widely-read individual, he will devour information and have a pulse on global trends and an active involvement in local ones. He will know the value of an education (either formal or informal) and be comfortable in the presence of members of the intelligentsia.
The president must be a sweet talker. Charismatic to the point of being a cult-personality, the President must be able to pull attention to himself and using this quality force disparate groups of people, interests and motivations to listen to and buy into his vision. The force of his ideas and vision (mixed in with his personal charisma) will stay with people long after they are no longer in his presence and engender a loyalty not to his person but to the ideas he proposes. He will inspire people beyond their immediate needs and make them feel like their actions need not be for their personal gain alone but for the greater good.
He must be a ruthless bastard. The President will encounter stiff opposition from groups as equally committed to maintaining the status-quo as he will be to changing it. He will have the mental aptitude to recognize these groups quickly and will not hesitate to either under-cut their authority as to render them insignificant in the larger scheme of things or completely eliminate their resistance. He will not play to the old stereotypes of nepotism and mediocrity but will deal with allies and foes alike with a firm yet fair hand. He will be a man of his word, saying and doing exactly what he means. He will be an extremely hard worker, one who can function at high levels for most of the day and who firmly believes in the value of a good’s day work.
The CEO of Nigeria Plc. will be incorruptible. He will completely disprove the old saying of ‘Power corrupts…’ In order to do this, he will have a well grounded connection to reality with relationships that serve to remind him every single day why he does what he does. This relationship could be with his children or grandchildren or with someone who embodies the phrase, ‘future generations’. He will lead by example and have zero tolerance for members of his team or inner caucus who deviate from the path of righteousness. He will have character of spirit that transcends the physical and allows him to wield great power and yet remain aloof to the allure of misuse.
The leader of the most populous black nation on the planet will be a compassionate individual. He will have a genuine empathy for people and be sensitive to their needs. There will be times when he has to take action that results in collateral damage either politically, militarily or economically. And although his ruthless streak will allow him to take the right decision for the greater good, he will feel the consequences of his actions within his very being which will stand him in good stead for future difficult decisions. He will wear this cap of responsibility stoically and without complaint. He acknowledges that the buck stops at his table and has enough character of spirit to cope with these kinds of decisions without buckling under the pressure and be unable to take future decisions. He will have a common touch and be seen as such by the masses. In deed and word, he will be able to connect with and speak to the dreams and aspirations of a wide range of society. He will place value on hard work and have belief in a system that rewards a certain input with a commensurate output
The Commander-in-Chief will be able to spot potential from miles off. In people, situations or circumstances, the President will have the ability to recognize talent in people and use them; read a situation very quickly and react appropriately and; analyze prevailing circumstances and plan for them. He will actively seek to encourage the people around him to reach for stretch targets and in the process develop their talents and enriching their experiences. He will not be afraid or threatened by people smarter than he is but actively court them either as allies or even as political opponents. This is because he recognizes that open and constructive debate and challenges to your ideas can only make them better.
The President will be a strategic and pragmatic individual. Without compromising on his ideals or betraying his vision for the country, he will be practical enough to recognize when things will work and when they will not. He will be willing to completely change his tactical plan if it will consequently benefit his overall strategy. He will not be afraid to admit when something has not worked and he will take the learning from each failure and use it to build on his subsequent successes. He will have the mind of a chess grandmaster able to see the overall strategy but possess enough tactical nous to adjust his game plan. His ruthlessness will let him sacrifice a pawn (or two) in order that he might capture the King but his compassion will ensure he does not do this lightly and only when the alternative would lead to an even worse outcome.
A reflective nature. In the high pressure atmosphere of statehood, the President will have the ability to practice self-reflection and meta-cognition. He will have the ability and schedule the time to take a step back away from it all from time to time to evaluate and come to objective conclusions about the progress (or otherwise) being made.
The President will have a belief in and readiness to sacrifice for the greater good. Although a supremely confident individual who knows his limitations very well and his strengths even better, the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria will have an unshakeable belief in the rule of law and the fact that no one individual or institution is above the law. He would be willing to make personal sacrifices in order to achieve the goals he has set out and when he invariably asks sacrifices of the citizenry, there will be a clear perception that it is no sacrifice he is not willing to take or has taken himself.
These then are the attributes I believe the next President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria should possess. For the ease of writing, I have used the pronoun ‘he’ throughout this write-up but of course these attributes are not gender-specific.
So… DO you know someone (or two) with all the qualities above? If you do, ask them if they are interested in applying for the job. If they are, they will of course then have to convince a few million voters HOW they intend to use the attributes above to do the job!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Enough is Enough!
Rhetoric is a fine thing.
When properly executed, it can inspire a whole generation. Or two. Gettysburg address, 'I have a dream...', 'Ask not what your country can do for you...' and so on and so forth. These three examples all come from the US of A.
The same US of A that the half-Kenyan dude took rhetoric to whole new levels two years ago and got himself the job of the most powerful man in the world. Jury is still out on if action is matching all that lofty rhetoric.
Which is always the problem with rhetoric of course. By its very definition according to Wikipedia, "...the art of communicating effectively... to move audiences to action with arguements". It becomes very difficult (in my opinion) to sustain that action you have moved your audiences to take. So while it might stir the heart and emotion and get otherwise warring factions to sing 'kumbaya' together, after a while rhetoric becomes inadequate to achieve real change.
Unless each rhetoric piece contains a nugget of directed action.
Stir the heart, stoke the emotion, swell the head and take this specific course of action. This is how persona cults develop around these intensely charismatic individuals and you have people commiting atrocities or showing saint-like behaviour on the say-so of a rhetoric-driven individual.
Which is why I really like the piece below. Some of you might have seen it already. If you haven't, you're in for a treat. It stokes the right embers of nationalistic fire and caresses the right parts of your ego while still containing a simple course of action for you to take to back up the rhetoric. It's brilliant.
The one thing I found annoying about it was the insertion of the mantra of said half-Kenyan above. I mean, its all very well to 'borrow' the idea but to import it wholesale without editing? Almost threw me off the patriotic horse it had put me on but didnt.
Enjoy!
********************************************************************
Feel free to share this on your Facebook wall, blog, website or newsletter. Copy and paste it into emails and blast it out to all your chummy paddies who you’ve been sending all those silly, annoying forwarded messages to.
By January 08, 2011, there will be approximately 35 million Nigerians between the ages of 18-35. We will embody the hopes of another generation, a generation neither touched by the civil war nor old enough to have enjoyed the brief period of prosperity that followed the oil boom.
We will represent a generation that cannot remember any cross country journey we undertook without encountering craters in the middle of the road. A generation that inherited broken down schools, discouraged teachers and a confused education system. A generation, forced to compete in a world they were not adequately prepared for.
We, 35 million of us, are an advance guard for a generation of Nigerians who grew up drinking from boreholes, streams and ponds, who lit their way at night, and in the early mornings with lanterns, candles or torches. To whom luxury meant to sleep in your own bed with the, ironically, comforting noise of a personal generator providing the assurance that your home appliances will be useful, for a little longer.
Our generation has been unfortunate to emerge in a time when the HIV/AIDS pandemic is at its peak. Gripping fatally at the lives of our contemporaries, cutting them down at their prime. To make matters worse, we have the added misfortune of being born in a place where the healthcare and social welfare systems either do not exist or are incapable of protecting us from the fate imposed by this or any other ill of its nature.
We remember the police for bribery, politicians for corruption and the public utilities for ineptitude. We will insist that we have survived so far in spite of, not because of, the contributions of these people or institutions.
For our generation, a great Nigeria is a dream or a collection of stories and doctrines handed down by our fathers, read in textbooks or chorused out in the National Anthem. It has never been our experience. We have experienced no greatness from which we can weave stories to inspire our children or grandchildren. Our memories will be of malnourishment in boarding schools; violence debauchery and strikes in University; robbery, rape and death at home and in our neighborhoods.
We have never voted in an election considered to be free, fair or credible. We have never controlled our fate.
But we can rewrite our own story.
We can respond to our challenges together, like the great Nigerians we so desperately want to be. We can shake off complacency and embrace collective action. We can become the heroes of the great stories we will tell our children.
We are doctors, lawyers, engineers, planners, musicians, actors, models, handymen, builders, cleaners and students. We are the minds that will imagine a new dawn. We are the hands that will make it happen. 35 million of us. We can tell a better story than our fathers told. Our children can inherit a greater Nigeria than we were born into.
Yes we can!
And we must!
For none of our individual brilliance, or industry will amount to anything if the collective wellbeing continues to be at peril. For even if we attain our individual dreams, our marble palaces will be surrounded by slum, and stagnant gutters. Our walls and shadows will be hounded by robbers, and hoodlums who – having been denied existence by society – will seek to prey on our success. For survival is a basic natural instinct, and when it is not guaranteed, it expresses itself in vice.
Our standing in the world will continue to plummet. We will continue to be treated as lepers - the butt of cheap jokes and scathing satire. And we will not have a better story to tell, to balance any of these.
Unless we say Enough is Enough!
So come October, 2010, just as our nation celebrates 50 year of little or nothing after independence, we will come together as the most numerous political force in its history. We will take the opportunity of this unique anniversary to start a quiet revolution that will spin this country on its head.
We will find the nearest INEC registration center, gather our friends, colleagues and family and go Register. Then we will spend the next few weeks (after registration) scrutinizing the field to Select credible candidates who speak to our issues. During the elections in January, we will come out (with our friends, colleagues and family) – in the rain, sun or sandstorm – and Vote for those whom we have selected. Beyond casting our votes, we will stand firm and together to Protect our vote. Ensuring that it counts for whom we have cast it for.
This RSVP will be the start of our quiet revolution.
For when we have shown our numbers at the polls, we can now collectively demand that our issues be addressed. We would have shown that our generation cannot be ignored. We would have started a journey to take back Nigeria from the mischievous minority that has held her hostage.
And if we succeed, we would be the ones who our children will be singing about in the 5th line of the national anthem: “…the labor of our heroes past shall never be in vain”.
So if you agree with me that “yes we can”, you must forward/share this message to 100 more people within the next 24 hrs. (LOL)
If you are interested in leading the RSVP effort in your neighborhood or vicinity, you can register here:
http://www.enoughisenoughnigeria.com/register/
If you want to find out where your INEC registration center might be, check here:
http://www.inecnigeria.org/election/find_polling_station.php (polling stations are used for registration too)
Start expressing your opinion by partaking in this poll: “What attributes would determine your choice of a President?”
http://twtpoll.com/r/z8gsg2
To learn more about the campaign focused on one of the major issues going into the 2011 elections (electricity) visit:
http://www.lightupnigeria.org/
Yours Sincerely
Amara Nwankpa
When properly executed, it can inspire a whole generation. Or two. Gettysburg address, 'I have a dream...', 'Ask not what your country can do for you...' and so on and so forth. These three examples all come from the US of A.
The same US of A that the half-Kenyan dude took rhetoric to whole new levels two years ago and got himself the job of the most powerful man in the world. Jury is still out on if action is matching all that lofty rhetoric.
Which is always the problem with rhetoric of course. By its very definition according to Wikipedia, "...the art of communicating effectively... to move audiences to action with arguements". It becomes very difficult (in my opinion) to sustain that action you have moved your audiences to take. So while it might stir the heart and emotion and get otherwise warring factions to sing 'kumbaya' together, after a while rhetoric becomes inadequate to achieve real change.
Unless each rhetoric piece contains a nugget of directed action.
Stir the heart, stoke the emotion, swell the head and take this specific course of action. This is how persona cults develop around these intensely charismatic individuals and you have people commiting atrocities or showing saint-like behaviour on the say-so of a rhetoric-driven individual.
Which is why I really like the piece below. Some of you might have seen it already. If you haven't, you're in for a treat. It stokes the right embers of nationalistic fire and caresses the right parts of your ego while still containing a simple course of action for you to take to back up the rhetoric. It's brilliant.
The one thing I found annoying about it was the insertion of the mantra of said half-Kenyan above. I mean, its all very well to 'borrow' the idea but to import it wholesale without editing? Almost threw me off the patriotic horse it had put me on but didnt.
Enjoy!
********************************************************************
Feel free to share this on your Facebook wall, blog, website or newsletter. Copy and paste it into emails and blast it out to all your chummy paddies who you’ve been sending all those silly, annoying forwarded messages to.
By January 08, 2011, there will be approximately 35 million Nigerians between the ages of 18-35. We will embody the hopes of another generation, a generation neither touched by the civil war nor old enough to have enjoyed the brief period of prosperity that followed the oil boom.
We will represent a generation that cannot remember any cross country journey we undertook without encountering craters in the middle of the road. A generation that inherited broken down schools, discouraged teachers and a confused education system. A generation, forced to compete in a world they were not adequately prepared for.
We, 35 million of us, are an advance guard for a generation of Nigerians who grew up drinking from boreholes, streams and ponds, who lit their way at night, and in the early mornings with lanterns, candles or torches. To whom luxury meant to sleep in your own bed with the, ironically, comforting noise of a personal generator providing the assurance that your home appliances will be useful, for a little longer.
Our generation has been unfortunate to emerge in a time when the HIV/AIDS pandemic is at its peak. Gripping fatally at the lives of our contemporaries, cutting them down at their prime. To make matters worse, we have the added misfortune of being born in a place where the healthcare and social welfare systems either do not exist or are incapable of protecting us from the fate imposed by this or any other ill of its nature.
We remember the police for bribery, politicians for corruption and the public utilities for ineptitude. We will insist that we have survived so far in spite of, not because of, the contributions of these people or institutions.
For our generation, a great Nigeria is a dream or a collection of stories and doctrines handed down by our fathers, read in textbooks or chorused out in the National Anthem. It has never been our experience. We have experienced no greatness from which we can weave stories to inspire our children or grandchildren. Our memories will be of malnourishment in boarding schools; violence debauchery and strikes in University; robbery, rape and death at home and in our neighborhoods.
We have never voted in an election considered to be free, fair or credible. We have never controlled our fate.
But we can rewrite our own story.
We can respond to our challenges together, like the great Nigerians we so desperately want to be. We can shake off complacency and embrace collective action. We can become the heroes of the great stories we will tell our children.
We are doctors, lawyers, engineers, planners, musicians, actors, models, handymen, builders, cleaners and students. We are the minds that will imagine a new dawn. We are the hands that will make it happen. 35 million of us. We can tell a better story than our fathers told. Our children can inherit a greater Nigeria than we were born into.
Yes we can!
And we must!
For none of our individual brilliance, or industry will amount to anything if the collective wellbeing continues to be at peril. For even if we attain our individual dreams, our marble palaces will be surrounded by slum, and stagnant gutters. Our walls and shadows will be hounded by robbers, and hoodlums who – having been denied existence by society – will seek to prey on our success. For survival is a basic natural instinct, and when it is not guaranteed, it expresses itself in vice.
Our standing in the world will continue to plummet. We will continue to be treated as lepers - the butt of cheap jokes and scathing satire. And we will not have a better story to tell, to balance any of these.
Unless we say Enough is Enough!
So come October, 2010, just as our nation celebrates 50 year of little or nothing after independence, we will come together as the most numerous political force in its history. We will take the opportunity of this unique anniversary to start a quiet revolution that will spin this country on its head.
We will find the nearest INEC registration center, gather our friends, colleagues and family and go Register. Then we will spend the next few weeks (after registration) scrutinizing the field to Select credible candidates who speak to our issues. During the elections in January, we will come out (with our friends, colleagues and family) – in the rain, sun or sandstorm – and Vote for those whom we have selected. Beyond casting our votes, we will stand firm and together to Protect our vote. Ensuring that it counts for whom we have cast it for.
This RSVP will be the start of our quiet revolution.
For when we have shown our numbers at the polls, we can now collectively demand that our issues be addressed. We would have shown that our generation cannot be ignored. We would have started a journey to take back Nigeria from the mischievous minority that has held her hostage.
And if we succeed, we would be the ones who our children will be singing about in the 5th line of the national anthem: “…the labor of our heroes past shall never be in vain”.
So if you agree with me that “yes we can”, you must forward/share this message to 100 more people within the next 24 hrs. (LOL)
If you are interested in leading the RSVP effort in your neighborhood or vicinity, you can register here:
http://www.enoughisenoughnigeria.com/register/
If you want to find out where your INEC registration center might be, check here:
http://www.inecnigeria.org/election/find_polling_station.php (polling stations are used for registration too)
Start expressing your opinion by partaking in this poll: “What attributes would determine your choice of a President?”
http://twtpoll.com/r/z8gsg2
To learn more about the campaign focused on one of the major issues going into the 2011 elections (electricity) visit:
http://www.lightupnigeria.org/
Yours Sincerely
Amara Nwankpa
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Praise Poetry
My mother in law arrived to Auckland last Tuesday.
It's been drama of shakespearean proportions to get her here a la immigration New Zealand. But the important thing is that after a 36 hour journey which included 28 hours of flying time, 3 stops and endless cups of airline tea, she arrived safe and sound to the Auckland international airport.
The tiger cub and I were on hand to welcome her at the airport and it was very moving to see her take Anjola, go down on her knees and give thanks and adoration to God Almighty. I guess the sight, sound and feel of your first grandchild on your breast will do that to a person.
A few friends I had been excitedly telling about the impending visit had asked me rather cheekily how much patience I had gone to buy from the patience bank for the visit. I didn't need to pretend how much I was looking forward to her visit. I have known couples who are always at daggers drawn with their respective in-laws but in this case, I can safely say there is a lot of mutual affection between my wife's mum and I. A bit about her:
A bustling middle-aged woman with the beautiful dark skin of the kind that glows, you can see that she lives for her children. Stylish, modern and extremely fashionable, she has a laugh and quiet intensity to her that creates a connection between her and individuals who have been a bit over-pampered by their mothers.
She also has a command of the Yoruba language that I stand in awe of.
People my age and generation, especially of the middle urban class in Nigeria while mostly bilingual, sometimes still struggle with our mother tongue. Take me for example. I speak Yoruba fluently-ish. I can read it fairly well, a bit haltingly and with only occasional mis-pronunciations and I am unable to write it with the correct inflection marks and phonetic sounds. And besides the variation of Yoruba I speak is the 'bastard' version. The marketplace Yoruba which is spoken and used by the different sub-groups.
I almost exclusively think in English as well.
No surprise there as living in New Zealand, surrounded by English speakers, working, communicating and reading (writing) in English, it becomes normal to start to think in English. Back home in Nigeria, surrounded by more people speaking Yoruba, one starts to think (as well as interchangeably speak) in both languages which is perfect for a growing tiger cub to pick up both languages.
So one of the first requests I made to my mother-in-law was for her to speak exclusively to the cub in Yoruba. She's only here for a short time but my cub is at the stage where he is actively interacting with his environment. Everything... and I mean EVERYTHING is this intensely interesting phenonenom to explore. And stick in his drooly mouth. You can almost see the synapses firing away in his brain (and being extinguished when we sit him down in front of the E! channel).
So I reckon we better make the best of my mother-in-laws presence here and get some Yoruba lessons in at this stage. I mean, you should hear my mother-in-law pray in Yoruba. It's one of those goose-pimples, shivers along the back, head swelling experiences. And its a skill Tope and I can only dream of having.
Of course, we will make every effort to continue his Yoruba education when his grandmother leaves but for the reasons above, this will not come easily or naturally to us. One thing she will leave for us however is the tiger cub's Oriki!
A cultural phenomenom among the Yoruba in South-west Nigeria, a person's oriki consists of the achievements of a prominent ancestor; the portents of achievements to come and; recording of achievments actually made.
By the above definition, an oriki is therefore a constantly fluid and updated piece of work. Usually rendered in poetry, it is sung as a sign of praise and is a favorite for grand parents especially to soothe and encourage a child.
My tiger cub has the beginnings of a solid foundation for a long and varied praise poetry...
...Olufela Anibi juwon...
...I am unable to give anymore as an oriki also doubles as your true name. And we all know how powerful those can be. If I told you anymore, I would have to kill you.
What's your own oriki?
It's been drama of shakespearean proportions to get her here a la immigration New Zealand. But the important thing is that after a 36 hour journey which included 28 hours of flying time, 3 stops and endless cups of airline tea, she arrived safe and sound to the Auckland international airport.
The tiger cub and I were on hand to welcome her at the airport and it was very moving to see her take Anjola, go down on her knees and give thanks and adoration to God Almighty. I guess the sight, sound and feel of your first grandchild on your breast will do that to a person.
A few friends I had been excitedly telling about the impending visit had asked me rather cheekily how much patience I had gone to buy from the patience bank for the visit. I didn't need to pretend how much I was looking forward to her visit. I have known couples who are always at daggers drawn with their respective in-laws but in this case, I can safely say there is a lot of mutual affection between my wife's mum and I. A bit about her:
A bustling middle-aged woman with the beautiful dark skin of the kind that glows, you can see that she lives for her children. Stylish, modern and extremely fashionable, she has a laugh and quiet intensity to her that creates a connection between her and individuals who have been a bit over-pampered by their mothers.
She also has a command of the Yoruba language that I stand in awe of.
People my age and generation, especially of the middle urban class in Nigeria while mostly bilingual, sometimes still struggle with our mother tongue. Take me for example. I speak Yoruba fluently-ish. I can read it fairly well, a bit haltingly and with only occasional mis-pronunciations and I am unable to write it with the correct inflection marks and phonetic sounds. And besides the variation of Yoruba I speak is the 'bastard' version. The marketplace Yoruba which is spoken and used by the different sub-groups.
I almost exclusively think in English as well.
No surprise there as living in New Zealand, surrounded by English speakers, working, communicating and reading (writing) in English, it becomes normal to start to think in English. Back home in Nigeria, surrounded by more people speaking Yoruba, one starts to think (as well as interchangeably speak) in both languages which is perfect for a growing tiger cub to pick up both languages.
So one of the first requests I made to my mother-in-law was for her to speak exclusively to the cub in Yoruba. She's only here for a short time but my cub is at the stage where he is actively interacting with his environment. Everything... and I mean EVERYTHING is this intensely interesting phenonenom to explore. And stick in his drooly mouth. You can almost see the synapses firing away in his brain (and being extinguished when we sit him down in front of the E! channel).
So I reckon we better make the best of my mother-in-laws presence here and get some Yoruba lessons in at this stage. I mean, you should hear my mother-in-law pray in Yoruba. It's one of those goose-pimples, shivers along the back, head swelling experiences. And its a skill Tope and I can only dream of having.
Of course, we will make every effort to continue his Yoruba education when his grandmother leaves but for the reasons above, this will not come easily or naturally to us. One thing she will leave for us however is the tiger cub's Oriki!
A cultural phenomenom among the Yoruba in South-west Nigeria, a person's oriki consists of the achievements of a prominent ancestor; the portents of achievements to come and; recording of achievments actually made.
By the above definition, an oriki is therefore a constantly fluid and updated piece of work. Usually rendered in poetry, it is sung as a sign of praise and is a favorite for grand parents especially to soothe and encourage a child.
My tiger cub has the beginnings of a solid foundation for a long and varied praise poetry...
...Olufela Anibi juwon...
...I am unable to give anymore as an oriki also doubles as your true name. And we all know how powerful those can be. If I told you anymore, I would have to kill you.
What's your own oriki?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Substance Over Style
I can be very charming when I want to be.
And I want to be almost all the time. I have always been an attention-seeker, right from childhood when my mom's friends would exclaim, "oh what a cutie" to yesterday when I made the pretty 17 year old Indian MacDonald's worker blush. (pushing the boundaries there I know)
Being a shameless attention seeker, I have discovered ways in which to attract, retain and feed on said attention. My personal style accounts for a large part of that process. Sanguine, open, friendly, dominates a room if I have to and yet can blend into the background waiting for the exact right moment to give a booming laugh and announce my presence to a hitherto unsuspecting public.
And all that affable personal style had absolutely no effect on the spreadsheet I had to work on today!
Spreadsheets are amazing tools. The vast amount of information you can package and present using a spreadsheet is nothing short of miraculous. A reporting analyst I work with swears that with the right commands, not only can you turn last year's dairy product volumes into a pretty graph, you can get Microsoft Excel to also make you a cup of coffee too...!
Four hours I spent collating, copying, pasting, cross-referencing, transferring, filtering, and proof reading this damn spreadsheet! 'Where's my bloody charm to help me get through this one now?' I muttered to myself intermittently. When I started seeing the figures and numbers start forming into battalions on their own accord and screaming lines from various Disney movies, I quickly got up and took a 15-min break.
But of course, when my manager met me at the coffee machine and asked how I was going, on went the charm switch and I smiled confidently and assured her it was all hunky-dory!
I knew a long time ago that I really didn't like detail work. Or routine work for that matter. Give me detailed routine work and expect hari-kari within a very short time! But if I have learned anything at all in this life, it is the fact that you CANNOT avoid the detail work. It usually is where the substance comes from.
Long have I admired those with flamboyant personal styles. But scratch most of them below the surface and you find very shallow individuals. When I call all that attention to myself, I don't stop people at the front door but like to invite them all the way into the vast recesses of my personal being. It galled when as an 18 year old, I was described as shallow. It is a moniker I have consciously tried to correct ever since. I mean, whats the point of inviting all that attention to yourself if there's not something for everyone to snack on?
So I have learned to love detail work... OK... love is a very strong word. But there is a certain kind of satisfaction in clicking on that send button with a well ordered spreadsheet attached complete with graphs and pivot tables and a little summary table in the corner. And when you have to give a presentation based on that spreadsheet, why right there is a lethal mix of substance and style. You kill all them doubters right dead I tell you!
I heard Warren Buffet makes a whole lot of intuitive and instinctive decisions. What they don't tell us is that he employs an army of statisticians and number crunchers who work on providing cold hard evidence on why the decision was a good one. And if there's no hard evidence forthcoming, the 'instinctive decision' is very quietly dumped and no one talks about it anymore!
Style will only take you so very far. Substance will take you much much further. And if you want to go far and have more fun doing it... then build up substance and hire me to coach you on the style!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tales of the Tiger Cub
Have you ever lost touch with someone for years and years, not even consciously thinking of the person but upon seeing the person, instantly recall their full name and all the good times you had together?
Happened to me today.
Adaeze Achinivu. One of the funnest(sic), funniest, life-loving, big buxom ed girls I have ever had the pleasure to call friend.
And to make it even more interesting, I didn't meet her in the flesh but online. I was logged into my email when the new message ping sounded. I looked at the screen name and Ada's face jumped into my mind. I instantly recalled every single bit of skulduggery we got up to in AIESEC (where else?) but couldn't immediately recall her name "Amaka?" I thought to myself. But that didn't sound right.
She typed one more question and her full name suddenly flashed in my mind like neon lights on a popular Vegas strip joint!
Adaeze is doing very well indeed, lives in the UK now has a Masters degree I believe and works for some fancy company I didn't quite catch the name of.
But I remember her from a more innocent time of my life. When the most important thing in the world was how to get to the next AIESEC conference. I took a few road trips with Ada and she it was who introduced me to the taste of fried snail. (of the Giant African variety) on the highways of Eastern Nigeria. We didn't have a lot of money but we were also debt-free. We didn't drive fancy cars but seemed to get around much much more. We didn't plan beyond the next weekend but there was never ANY doubt about what we wanted to do and become in life.
How things have changed in the last 5-10 years.
I am 29 years old. I have been married for 2 years or almost 2 years depending on how you look at it. I have worked for the same company in the same business unit for the last 4 years. I have recently started a part time post graduate program at the University of Auckland that will earn me either an MBA or a Masters of Management in 3 years. I have a six month old son.
My Tiger cub. Born in the Chinese year of the Tiger, he constantly amazes, amuses, inspires, and motivates me.
It's a cliche I know but my life has not been the same since he came into it. I have heaps of single friends who make it clear they are in no hurry to jump into parenthood. But who wants to do this in middle-age? My tiger cub is slowly starting to show me exactly what "the energy of a toddler" really means. I am humbled at the thought that of all the prospective ones out there, he chose me to be his progenitor. His pack leader.
So these are no longer just 'my' stories. They are his. Everything I do, touches upon him. Daunting for some individuals to be laden with such a huge responsibility and some even label it a burden. I consider it a privilege.
So watch out for our stories. We have taken too much time off from sharing. Those bestsellers are NOT going to write themselves.
13 out of 20
The plan had been to write a blog post about each of the secrets of happiness stolen from the Time website, add my own unique slant and nuggets of gold to it and then wrap up with a grand finale-post celebrating how happy I was.
That was 5 months. Got through 13 out of 20 secrets. Story of my life.
Full list (with Time.com commentary) can be found here:
1. Count Your Blessings
2. Hear the Music
3. Snog. Canoodle, Get it on
4. Nurture your spirituality
5. Move Your Body
6. Laugh Big
7. Do Something Nice for someone Else
8. Make More money than Your Peers
9. Seek Positive Emotions as a Path to Success
10. Identify with your Heritage
11. Use a Happy Memory as a Guide
12. Play the Part of an Optimist
13. Try New Things
14. Tell Your Story to Someone
15. Balance Work and Home
16. Be Like the Danes: Keep Expectations Realistic
17. Make Time
18. Visualize Happiness
19. Smile
20. Marry Happy
I had been looking forward to writing on "Tell your story to someone" but ah well...
That was 5 months. Got through 13 out of 20 secrets. Story of my life.
Full list (with Time.com commentary) can be found here:
1. Count Your Blessings
2. Hear the Music
3. Snog. Canoodle, Get it on
4. Nurture your spirituality
5. Move Your Body
6. Laugh Big
7. Do Something Nice for someone Else
8. Make More money than Your Peers
9. Seek Positive Emotions as a Path to Success
10. Identify with your Heritage
11. Use a Happy Memory as a Guide
12. Play the Part of an Optimist
13. Try New Things
14. Tell Your Story to Someone
15. Balance Work and Home
16. Be Like the Danes: Keep Expectations Realistic
17. Make Time
18. Visualize Happiness
19. Smile
20. Marry Happy
I had been looking forward to writing on "Tell your story to someone" but ah well...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Try New Things
The story of the mid-life crisis is a well known one.
Man in his 4th decade of life, looks back and suddenly realizes he's halfway through his journey. He's a mid-level functionary in a vast evil corporate empire, he's got a beer gut the size of Texas and his once prom Queen wife walks around in a faded robe, with curlers in her hair and her 'assets' drooping south.
He gets a tattoo/haircut/stud in his ear, buys a Ferrari and trades in his wife for a much younger model.
In essence, he attempts to try out new things that seemed to come so naturally to him in his 20's but that he must now work much harder for and attempts to use these to validate his life.
Skip all that.
Everyday, every week, we should try something new. Rollerblade, Scuba Dive, play the guitar. According to Time Magazine...
"...Psychologist Rich Walker of Winston-Salem State University looked at 30,000 event memories and over 500 diaries, ranging from durations of 3 months to 4 years, and says that people who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer"
And now I have the ultimate "new" experience. I am responsible for a life. Both literally and figuratively. And everyday is a new experience. First bath, first poo, first time he peed on me, first time he grabbed my finger in his hand...
...and I have the rest of my life to look forward to these new experiences.
So no you dont need to have a baby to have new experiences. But rather look for the new experiences in the every little facets of your life.
PS
Has it been that long since I blogged?
Man in his 4th decade of life, looks back and suddenly realizes he's halfway through his journey. He's a mid-level functionary in a vast evil corporate empire, he's got a beer gut the size of Texas and his once prom Queen wife walks around in a faded robe, with curlers in her hair and her 'assets' drooping south.
He gets a tattoo/haircut/stud in his ear, buys a Ferrari and trades in his wife for a much younger model.
In essence, he attempts to try out new things that seemed to come so naturally to him in his 20's but that he must now work much harder for and attempts to use these to validate his life.
Skip all that.
Everyday, every week, we should try something new. Rollerblade, Scuba Dive, play the guitar. According to Time Magazine...
"...Psychologist Rich Walker of Winston-Salem State University looked at 30,000 event memories and over 500 diaries, ranging from durations of 3 months to 4 years, and says that people who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer"
And now I have the ultimate "new" experience. I am responsible for a life. Both literally and figuratively. And everyday is a new experience. First bath, first poo, first time he peed on me, first time he grabbed my finger in his hand...
...and I have the rest of my life to look forward to these new experiences.
So no you dont need to have a baby to have new experiences. But rather look for the new experiences in the every little facets of your life.
PS
Has it been that long since I blogged?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Play the Part of An Optimist
Incurable Optimist.
This would be one of my more defining characteristics. Even when I was hooked up to an echo cardiogram machine that beeped every time I so much as moved my ass, I was thinking what a great blog post/dinner story/attention grabbing gimmick it would be.
The only times I get depressed are when I am alone. As soon as I have one other person (or one hundred) to 'perform' for, all morbid thoughts and pessimism is dissolved immediately.
And there are 2 cardinal rules I follow when faced with a challenge, can i do anything about it? Yes? Then I don't worry and get on with what I can do. I cant do anything about it? Then why the hell would I worry about it if its out of my hands??
Bottom line... Don't worry about it.
This would be one of my more defining characteristics. Even when I was hooked up to an echo cardiogram machine that beeped every time I so much as moved my ass, I was thinking what a great blog post/dinner story/attention grabbing gimmick it would be.
The only times I get depressed are when I am alone. As soon as I have one other person (or one hundred) to 'perform' for, all morbid thoughts and pessimism is dissolved immediately.
And there are 2 cardinal rules I follow when faced with a challenge, can i do anything about it? Yes? Then I don't worry and get on with what I can do. I cant do anything about it? Then why the hell would I worry about it if its out of my hands??
Bottom line... Don't worry about it.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Use a Happy Memory as a Guide
The earliest ever memory I have is one of being trapped and wussing out.
I have no idea how old I was but I was sufficiently young enough that I was still sleeping in a cot in my parent's room. So no more than 18 months.
I woke up in the middle of the night and felt an overwhelming urge to join my parents on their bed. Which was WAAAAAAAAAAY across the room. About 6 feet away.
I scrambled up and held on to the 'bars' of the cot with every intention of clambering over the rail, lowering myself to the ground and crawling/walking over to the warmth and safety of my mother's embrace.
But the ground looked so far away.
I distinctly remember gauging the distance, gathering my courage and then... losing it immediately. I tried psyching myself that it wasn't that far away and cast many hopeful glances at the bed willing my progenitor to wake up and gather me into their loving hands. They didn't even stir.
I gave up without attempting that jump.
I have no idea why this memory has stayed with me but it sure has figured in a LOT of the subsequent jumps I have made ever since. "Ladi are you going to wuss out and not make it out of this cot you find yourself?"
And I have made countless happy memories by reminding myself of that first recorded memory
Decisions have been made easier and I have fallen into a nice cycle where happy memories encourage me to take a chance, (or think things through) because I have sufficient perspective to realize that although this might seem like a harrowing (or exhilarating) experience at the time, it was going to end up as a happy memory I could use to motivate myself in the future.
Some of the strongest memories I have (thus far) are the ones I made in AIESEC. Particularly on stage facing hundreds of my peers and knowing... beyond a doubt... that each and every single person in the room was focused on me. And my words. For that 30min session, being able to wallow in all that attention was just nirvana for a narcissist like me.
My active AIESEC days are over, so therein lies the question? How do I recapture that feeling of all-encompassing attention on myself? DO I become a motivational speaker? Nope! I can hardly motivate myself to go to the gym... that wont wash.
Perhaps if I followed Rowling's example? How much more attention does one want knowing someone has paid to read what you wrote?
So enjoy this while you can... it's gonna cost you very soon! Heh.
I have no idea how old I was but I was sufficiently young enough that I was still sleeping in a cot in my parent's room. So no more than 18 months.
I woke up in the middle of the night and felt an overwhelming urge to join my parents on their bed. Which was WAAAAAAAAAAY across the room. About 6 feet away.
I scrambled up and held on to the 'bars' of the cot with every intention of clambering over the rail, lowering myself to the ground and crawling/walking over to the warmth and safety of my mother's embrace.
But the ground looked so far away.
I distinctly remember gauging the distance, gathering my courage and then... losing it immediately. I tried psyching myself that it wasn't that far away and cast many hopeful glances at the bed willing my progenitor to wake up and gather me into their loving hands. They didn't even stir.
I gave up without attempting that jump.
I have no idea why this memory has stayed with me but it sure has figured in a LOT of the subsequent jumps I have made ever since. "Ladi are you going to wuss out and not make it out of this cot you find yourself?"
And I have made countless happy memories by reminding myself of that first recorded memory
Decisions have been made easier and I have fallen into a nice cycle where happy memories encourage me to take a chance, (or think things through) because I have sufficient perspective to realize that although this might seem like a harrowing (or exhilarating) experience at the time, it was going to end up as a happy memory I could use to motivate myself in the future.
Some of the strongest memories I have (thus far) are the ones I made in AIESEC. Particularly on stage facing hundreds of my peers and knowing... beyond a doubt... that each and every single person in the room was focused on me. And my words. For that 30min session, being able to wallow in all that attention was just nirvana for a narcissist like me.
My active AIESEC days are over, so therein lies the question? How do I recapture that feeling of all-encompassing attention on myself? DO I become a motivational speaker? Nope! I can hardly motivate myself to go to the gym... that wont wash.
Perhaps if I followed Rowling's example? How much more attention does one want knowing someone has paid to read what you wrote?
So enjoy this while you can... it's gonna cost you very soon! Heh.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Identify With Your Heritage
I met a lady today who had visited 40 countries.
She was Canadian, with an Australian passport who lives and works in Auckland. And oh... she has a Japanese name. (more on this later)
In the world of today that we live in, especially for young people, national borders and restrictions are starting to mean less and less. There are so many opportunities for cross-cultural experiences, work and play.
There is almost nothing that you know that is not immediately known to, or available to be known by almost everyone else in the world. (thank you world wide web) This amazing shrinking of the planet earth comes with never-before-imagined opportunities.
Grow up in a technological advanced Asian nation; school in a predominantly Anglo-Saxon cultural centre that is noted for its Opera House, rustling outback and Hugh Jackman; Do an internship with one of the biggest investment houses in (one of) the financial capitals of the world that Spiderman calls home; go travelling in Latin America with your brown-skinned boyfriend who has roots in the cradle of civilization and the land of leprechauns and River Dance.
At this point, it doesn't really matter where you live, you are so thoroughly immersed as a global citizen that each city/town/nation you arrive in, opens it arms and welcomes you with a warm embrace.
And yet...
It is not for nothing that adopted children go to great lengths to find their birth parents. There is a nagging feeling of incompleteness. A sense of unfinished business that gnaws at your balance and clouds your prospect for the future. You need to know where you have come if you are to make anything of the road you intend to travel. Otherwise life's journey becomes a never-ending question.
So although national borders MIGHT be losing their relevance, national cultures are not. I have lived in 5 different countries and consider myself a citizen of a world but I remain and will always be a Nigerian national. I have been asked from time to time what part of Nigeria I come from and I always answer...
"...the Yoruba. The name, language and people of the South-West of Nigeria. Stretching across Nigeria, Togo and Benin Republic, this 40-million strong race are a people of passion, power and history. A race of Warrior-Poets and Soldier-Kings, the Yoruba are renowned for their daring feats of courage, acts of compassion, and love of their culture..."
Ok, so maybe not as eloquently as the above.
But it is HOW I should respond anytime I am asked. I realized after moving to Aotearoa that the urge to find other Yoruba people and speak the language, crack a few jokes in typically loud and ostentatious manner became over-whelming after a few months. Thank Goodness for the small but vibrant community here in Auckland.
So go on... take pride in your heritage. Know where you are from and it really does become easier for you to shake off the restricting aspects of that heritage and make you more adept at incorporating new and beneficial aspects to your own personal heritage.
Seek Positive Emotion as a Path to Success
A smile will do wonders for your day.
Crappy day, crunching numbers the whole day, missed the deadline for your boss, missed your bus and got caught in the rain.
Little girl on the next bus (which was 40mins late) smiles at you and everything is okay with the world.
The first picture I had in my head was a super hot girl (of the older variety) pouting her lips and smiling at you on the bus... but then I realized that she might be smiling at you with pity and secretly laughing at your sodden and dishevelled appearance.
But a 5-year old angel of a child's smile at that point, while still laughing at you, will covey that sense of innocence and wonder that little children effortlessly convey. It's more laughing WITH you rather than AT you actually.
And rather than getting home and snapping at your beautiful wife, (who wouldnt have liked the hot girl smiling at you anyway) going to bed misreable and having an even worse day at work the next day, you kiss your wife, take a shower and go to bed with the feel of a loved one's kiss and the memory of a smile that made up for the crappy day.
And BECAUSE of all the positive emotions, you go to work the next day and not only submit the report but also suggest strategies for pulling the company out of its downward spiral and they promote you to CEO.
Ok, a bit simplistic I know.
But in said story lies a moral. Success does not bring happiness. Nay. It is the other way round. Those who are happy and content with their lot in life but who want to continue to see smiles and contentment in their lives are more likely to seek out ways to make this happen. And even if they dont suceed at first, they have the fall-back cushion of what made them seek out that success in the first place. To generate more positive emotions so to speak.
And even if there seems to be little or nothing to generate positive emotions, the key word here is "seems". There is ALWAYS something to bring a smile to your face. It's all about perspective people.
Me? I am an incurable optimist. Even when I lay hooked up to a echo-cardiac machine that beeped when I so much as lifted an ass-cheek to fart, all I could think of was how it would make a great party story. Or a great blog post.
An incurable sanguine, who feeds off positive emotions I am quick to surround myself with people who ooze positive emotions. And can consume great quantities of wine and still argue the merits of the death penalty.
So think happy thoughts and think your way to success so you can make more than your peers.
Make More Money Than Your Peers
Ridiculous!
How can open success that stands heads and shoulders above the success of your peers make you happy?
My house is bigger, my car sleeker, my country club membership more exclusive than yours friends! That gives me such a thrill, secret hidden thrill but a thrill nonetheless.
Ridiculous but true.
In "Count Your Blessings" I highlighted as one of my key blessings, the friends/peers that inspire you and make you strive to become better than you are. The inspiration given by your peers is quite different from the inspiration given you by a mentor/older person/parent.
Peer inspiration actually gives you a clear and present standard to measure yourself against, a standard that is current and subject to all the same challenges, opportunities and failures of your own personal situation.
And doesn't it feel good when you come out ahead of them?
And yet the caveat here is that your peers BE successful. There is no use (or fun) comparing yourself to someone who is so out of (beneath) your class! Because the 'feel-good' factor disappears and rather than secretly gloat at your edge, you become embarrassed at the gulf between you.
There is no satisfaction in flaunting your material wealth in front of someone who isn't similarly blessed. Rather than flaunt, you probably become even apologetic for it, or even worse you rub their noses in it. (Chances are that they are 'happier' and more satisfied anyway). I am happy to report that no one I call 'friend' has such a mean terrible streak in them. I think.
So this is a clarion call to all my peers. Make lots of money so I can make just that little more. And if it's the other way round... well... consider it my contribution to your happiness index!
PS
I am moving from my swanky city centre apartment into a proper house. (Two,) three bedroom house with a garden, picket fence and off-street parking. God Help Me!
I am moving from my swanky city centre apartment into a proper house. (Two,) three bedroom house with a garden, picket fence and off-street parking. God Help Me!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Do Something Nice for Someone Else
I bought Tope perfume the other day.
A few weeks ago, she tried to drag me to a sale that was going on in one of the malls where there were tons of parallel imported stuff not least among them designer perfumes.
The key words here are, 'tried to' as I stubbornly refused to be coaxed from the the comfort of my couch that weekend. We did eventually go to a Colombian party that weekend which happened to be a stone's throw from the mall but still I didnt feel like going. And so we didnt.
Very mean of me I know.
Anyway, the weekend after, I walked to the city library to return some books leaving Tope at home. The city library happens to be right smack in the middle of downtown Auckland. Queen Street which is the premier shopping boulevard in the central business district was right next to the library.
I noticed Smith & Caughey's were open and I knew they had quite the collection of perfumes so I went in and was met with a babble of noise and commotion. There was apparently a perfume sale going on!
To cut a long story short, I spent hundreds of dollars on perfume for me wife and I just need to add, these were hundreds of dollars that I couldnt afford.
But on the way home, I was stepping on clouds and had such a good feeling in the pit of my stomach. After being a meanie the previous weekend, I was imagining Tope's face when i presented the haul to her and I wasnt disappointed.
"Every man for himself" seems to be a survival instinct for most animals. Man however has the amazing capacity for extreme good and charity towards his fellow man. (for evil too but this is not the focus of this post) And there is no substitute of course for the love of a mother for her child.
But if you can explain the irrational love that a mother has for offspring, it is when a human being does something truly charitable for his fellow human with whom he has no filial relationship, one can begin to sense the perfection that a society can and should aspire to.
So go out and do something nice for someone with no expectation of a reward. Do it and see the confusion and joy in the person's eyes, tell the person, "this one's on me". It really does work.
A few weeks ago, she tried to drag me to a sale that was going on in one of the malls where there were tons of parallel imported stuff not least among them designer perfumes.
The key words here are, 'tried to' as I stubbornly refused to be coaxed from the the comfort of my couch that weekend. We did eventually go to a Colombian party that weekend which happened to be a stone's throw from the mall but still I didnt feel like going. And so we didnt.
Very mean of me I know.
Anyway, the weekend after, I walked to the city library to return some books leaving Tope at home. The city library happens to be right smack in the middle of downtown Auckland. Queen Street which is the premier shopping boulevard in the central business district was right next to the library.
I noticed Smith & Caughey's were open and I knew they had quite the collection of perfumes so I went in and was met with a babble of noise and commotion. There was apparently a perfume sale going on!
To cut a long story short, I spent hundreds of dollars on perfume for me wife and I just need to add, these were hundreds of dollars that I couldnt afford.
But on the way home, I was stepping on clouds and had such a good feeling in the pit of my stomach. After being a meanie the previous weekend, I was imagining Tope's face when i presented the haul to her and I wasnt disappointed.
"Every man for himself" seems to be a survival instinct for most animals. Man however has the amazing capacity for extreme good and charity towards his fellow man. (for evil too but this is not the focus of this post) And there is no substitute of course for the love of a mother for her child.
But if you can explain the irrational love that a mother has for offspring, it is when a human being does something truly charitable for his fellow human with whom he has no filial relationship, one can begin to sense the perfection that a society can and should aspire to.
So go out and do something nice for someone with no expectation of a reward. Do it and see the confusion and joy in the person's eyes, tell the person, "this one's on me". It really does work.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Laugh Big
I had an uncle who spoke in capital letters.
Of blessed memory now, my uncle was a Chief Judge and was the spitting image of my own father. Some people are described as being soft-spoken, Justice Kunle Ajayi was NOT one of them.
He was one of those individuals who through sheer force of personality dominated whatever setting he happened to be in. Not very tall at maybe 5"5, his booming voice and sanguine personality made him larger than life.
And did I mention his laugh?
It was the sort of laugh that shocked you out of your lethargy, infected you with its candence and forced you to attempt to contribute your own laugh to whatever was the cause of amusement. Never mind that you didn't actually know why he was laughing.
My laugh was quite famous when I was growing up as well, and I had my mother shake her head in bemusement and mutter to herself many times, "Laughs just like Justice". My laughing buddy in Sweden, Maria Klockar Johansson and I shared many a laugh together. Whether it was laughing at Amit Desai or at the strange looks we got when we went shopping for groceries together, Maria happens to be one of those I would be willing to enjoy a laugh with any day any time.
It's important to laugh. Not everyone can. Or does. Laugh until you cry, until your sides ache or in my case, laugh until I get a stich in my side.
A colleague asked me just today, "What was the most embarassing thing you ever did"? At first I scoffed as if to say, "I must have too many to remember". But when i tried to recall an embarassing moment, it was much harder than I thought.
I think it goes back to laughing. My ability to laugh at myself. Most situations that would be absolutely mortifying to ordinary people, I laugh at and forget the very next minute. Well... this could also mean I have no shame whatsover but lets not go there.
There is a brand new channel on my Sky TV subscription called Comedy Central. And one of my favorite shows on it is "Just For Laughs" which shows highlights from the annual Montreal Comedy Festival. Now that is a career I wouldnt mind having. Stand-Up comedy. Too bad I dont have the talent for it. Although me mum must have thought I had a future in it as she would laugh back then when I asked her for her car.
Please check out this extremely funny fellow from the UK in the clip below. And go on... Laugh Big!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Move Your Body
I have a friend called Harrison.
Harrison recently posted pictures of himself on facebook. He was at the beach with his new girlfriend (i am assuming) and they were both standing in the spray of the waves and generally made quite the lovely couple.
Harrison was looking quite buff, his black skin was gleaming, well chiseled pecs and biceps and his abs looked like you could grate cheese on them.
Did I say he was my friend...? I really hate the guy!
As far as I am concerned, he only put those pictures on to spite me. The bastard. I posted here on this very blog about wanting a body like Usher's almost 3 years ago!!!! And here I am... 3kg heavier and the extra kilos round my waist!
Living a healthy lifestyle for sure translates into a happier lifestyle and even if one does not have washboard abs, being active and relatively fit makes for a good combination. Like in all things, all I need is some discipline and external motivation and I really do think I can get a body like Usher Raymond's.
Discipline I will have to sort out for myself but external motivation will have to come from dreaming of the day I can put MY beach photos on facebook and show that Harrison of a boy that if he can do it... then so can I!!!
Harrison recently posted pictures of himself on facebook. He was at the beach with his new girlfriend (i am assuming) and they were both standing in the spray of the waves and generally made quite the lovely couple.
Harrison was looking quite buff, his black skin was gleaming, well chiseled pecs and biceps and his abs looked like you could grate cheese on them.
Did I say he was my friend...? I really hate the guy!
As far as I am concerned, he only put those pictures on to spite me. The bastard. I posted here on this very blog about wanting a body like Usher's almost 3 years ago!!!! And here I am... 3kg heavier and the extra kilos round my waist!
Living a healthy lifestyle for sure translates into a happier lifestyle and even if one does not have washboard abs, being active and relatively fit makes for a good combination. Like in all things, all I need is some discipline and external motivation and I really do think I can get a body like Usher Raymond's.
Discipline I will have to sort out for myself but external motivation will have to come from dreaming of the day I can put MY beach photos on facebook and show that Harrison of a boy that if he can do it... then so can I!!!
Nurture Your Spirituality
One of the most 'rewarding' times in my life was a school term in secondary school. I must have been about 12 or 13 and I really hated school.
It was the first time I had ever been away from home and I was finding it hard to cope with looking after myself, studying to be an A student and dodging the wrath of the older students who seemed to make it their life's work to be as mean as possible to their juniors.
This school term I refer to, I had decided to become a fully committed christian. Born-again, spirit filled and speaking in tongues. It was the 'in-thing' then and scores of students could be seen clutching bibles in addition to their text-books everywhere they went.
One of the maxims I took to heart that school term was, "In all things, give thanks". And I did.
When I was doing hard manual labor cutting grass and/or washing the dormitory toilets, I gave thanks.
When I was being wailed upon by the House Captain with a leather belt for not cleaning the toilet properly, I gave thanks.
When I missed lunch because I was recleaning the toilet, I gave thanks.
When I broke my pair of glasses rushing to the dining room for supper because I was so damn hungry, I gave thanks.
I gave thanks and believed God was watching over me and whatever happened was all part of the Master plan. And that term seemed to fly past. I was always at peace and nothing seemed to rattle me. When good things DID happen to me, it was validation that God had just been testing me previously to make sure that I was worthy of the really good things that did happen to me.
I think I hit puberty the term after that and started noticing which girls in my class had grown boobs and spirituality went out the window.
But the point is that, spirituality is a key aspect of happiness. Tests after tests have shown that people who proclaim to belong to some religion or the other have been polled as being "more satisfied" with their lot in life.
I am not as... spiritual... as I would like to be. I have travelled too much, seen too much and have become a bit too cynical that I doubt I can ever recapture the peace and tranquility of that school term again.
I envy those truly devout religious people. Of whatever belief. Although I do not share those beliefs, the anchor religion gives to these individuals is a great reason not to outlaw religion as a whole. And although religion has killed more people than it has saved, an atheist society would be a very empty society and I think religion does have a part to play in the balance of the perfect society.
I seek peace and spirituality these days in the comfort of my solitary walks in the Albert Park of downtown Auckland. Where I invariably pray Christian prayers to a Christian God even knowing fully well that a lot of so-called christians I wouldn't invite to my house also claim to pray to this same God.
Spirituality can be found in many different places, the patterns of the leaves falling from a majestic tree in the park; the grasp of a little child's hand on your index finger; the laugh of an elderly couple who are obviously still in love.
Where is Your Spirituality?
It was the first time I had ever been away from home and I was finding it hard to cope with looking after myself, studying to be an A student and dodging the wrath of the older students who seemed to make it their life's work to be as mean as possible to their juniors.
This school term I refer to, I had decided to become a fully committed christian. Born-again, spirit filled and speaking in tongues. It was the 'in-thing' then and scores of students could be seen clutching bibles in addition to their text-books everywhere they went.
One of the maxims I took to heart that school term was, "In all things, give thanks". And I did.
When I was doing hard manual labor cutting grass and/or washing the dormitory toilets, I gave thanks.
When I was being wailed upon by the House Captain with a leather belt for not cleaning the toilet properly, I gave thanks.
When I missed lunch because I was recleaning the toilet, I gave thanks.
When I broke my pair of glasses rushing to the dining room for supper because I was so damn hungry, I gave thanks.
I gave thanks and believed God was watching over me and whatever happened was all part of the Master plan. And that term seemed to fly past. I was always at peace and nothing seemed to rattle me. When good things DID happen to me, it was validation that God had just been testing me previously to make sure that I was worthy of the really good things that did happen to me.
I think I hit puberty the term after that and started noticing which girls in my class had grown boobs and spirituality went out the window.
But the point is that, spirituality is a key aspect of happiness. Tests after tests have shown that people who proclaim to belong to some religion or the other have been polled as being "more satisfied" with their lot in life.
I am not as... spiritual... as I would like to be. I have travelled too much, seen too much and have become a bit too cynical that I doubt I can ever recapture the peace and tranquility of that school term again.
I envy those truly devout religious people. Of whatever belief. Although I do not share those beliefs, the anchor religion gives to these individuals is a great reason not to outlaw religion as a whole. And although religion has killed more people than it has saved, an atheist society would be a very empty society and I think religion does have a part to play in the balance of the perfect society.
I seek peace and spirituality these days in the comfort of my solitary walks in the Albert Park of downtown Auckland. Where I invariably pray Christian prayers to a Christian God even knowing fully well that a lot of so-called christians I wouldn't invite to my house also claim to pray to this same God.
Spirituality can be found in many different places, the patterns of the leaves falling from a majestic tree in the park; the grasp of a little child's hand on your index finger; the laugh of an elderly couple who are obviously still in love.
Where is Your Spirituality?
Snog. Canoodle. Get It On.
We live in a sex-obsessed society.
Sex is used to sell everything from movies, bikes, burgers and songs all the way to...sex itself. Porn industry yes I am speaking directly to you!
But it's no secret that the endorphins released from coitus (and everthing leading to it) has such a powerful effect in numbing pain that individuals have been known to going over and beyond in a quest to continually feel that pleasant glow that good sex brings.
I have had the privilege of living in 3 quite distinct countries and cultures. And it is amazing how different the attitudes towards sex are in each of the three.
In Nigeria, sex is definitely NOT a dining table family discussion topic. Depending on what part of the country you love in... sorry live in... it could be a discussion behind closed doors with your mother, consisting of her telling you that even being touched by a boy now that your period has started would result immediately in pregnancy;
or it could be a biology lesson where you have the diagram of the uterus looking like a cow's head on the board and your teacher ignoring the chuckles and embarassed looks being passed around the classroom;
or it could even be the odd sex scene on TV and your dad diving behind the newspaper pretending not to be in the room and your mum finding an excuse for YOU not be in the room or simply just changing the channel.
Yep! Sex is something not explicitly discussed but you are supposed to somehow pick up and master on all your own. Or if it is discussed, it is in black and white terms. DO NOT ever try it before marriage!
Sweden now on the other hand, oh my goodness! One of the biggest culture shocks I got in Sverige was the knowledge that 16 year girls could invite their boyfriends over to stay the night IN THEIR PARENTS house!
There is the famous Scandinavian openness about nudity. Topless beaches abound and public saunas although possessing seperate changing rooms for males and females only ever have common saunas. This is not to say that the whole country is constantly engaged in mass orgies but there is a maturity of approach that recognizes that sex is a very natural human activity and as such should be treated as one.
Most couples you find in Sweden have lived together for several years and had one or more children before finally deciding to get married. And in addition to the usual reasons of ensuring that there is compatibility between 2 people, a female friend summed it all up by concluding, "Of course I want to sleep with him before I marry him, Who wants to end up with bad sex for the rest of their lives?"
And New Zealand? There is an amalgation of the two above I guess. There is this Puritan streak through the society that I think is a legacy of the Victorian and English roots of the population but being a truly Western Society has not been immune to the glamourization of sex. Not for nothing have NZ girls been found to have likely had more sexual partners that their counterparts in other OECD countries. Or that an annual event called "Boobs on Bikes" is such a crowd puller in the downtown Auckland district.
As a result of my upbringing, experiences and lessons of life, I guess you could say I have a fairly liberal attitude to sex. Although I am experienced enough to know that the best sex is gotten when it is between two people who truly are in love with each other and is a validation of a committed relationship. (my wife will be happy to hear this last one. Heh.)
Hear the Music
Music they say is the food of the soul.
We get goose bumps listening to music. The lyrics, the performer, the rythmn, music has the power to move, inspire and shape a society.
I would imagine if the world were about to end and only a certain small number of people had to be chosen to go into a bunker to continue civilization as we know it, composers/performers of music would be very high on the list of those to go into the bunker. (or they could record the entire world's music collection on someone's iphone)
Because you see the healers and builders and leaders when they are taking a break from being those things, need the Chopins and the Handels and the Bachs and the Christina Aguileras to help them recharge their batteries.
With devices such as the aforementioned iphone, one can pretty much carry a whole collection of music around and be constantly surrounded by melody even unto sleep.
I am looking at not only listening to music these days but actually explore how well I can make music as well. (Guitar lessons in Auckland anyone?)
But a cousin of mine is already on that path and has come up with a delightful single. I cannot figure out a way to share his song with you but as soon as it's on Youtube I will post it on here.
We get goose bumps listening to music. The lyrics, the performer, the rythmn, music has the power to move, inspire and shape a society.
I would imagine if the world were about to end and only a certain small number of people had to be chosen to go into a bunker to continue civilization as we know it, composers/performers of music would be very high on the list of those to go into the bunker. (or they could record the entire world's music collection on someone's iphone)
Because you see the healers and builders and leaders when they are taking a break from being those things, need the Chopins and the Handels and the Bachs and the Christina Aguileras to help them recharge their batteries.
With devices such as the aforementioned iphone, one can pretty much carry a whole collection of music around and be constantly surrounded by melody even unto sleep.
I am looking at not only listening to music these days but actually explore how well I can make music as well. (Guitar lessons in Auckland anyone?)
But a cousin of mine is already on that path and has come up with a delightful single. I cannot figure out a way to share his song with you but as soon as it's on Youtube I will post it on here.
Count Your Blessings
"Count your blessings, name them one by one
Count your blessings, see what God has done
Cooooount your blessings, name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done"
One of my favorite hymns in Sunday School when I was younger, the song above captures the essence of what the first strategy to getting happiness and keeping it is.
The problem is that a lot of us fail to see the blessings right under our very noses. Material wealth does not count as the true blessings of life. Cliche I know but nevertheless true.
I have always suspected that I would be a prime candidate for a mid-life crisis when I hit my forties. If I haven't published that book, become President of Nigeria or led a 10-year campaign to make Nigeria the hottest tourist destination in Africa, I will probably go out and dye my hair, get another tattoo or buy a Jaguar.
So I want to get into the habit of counting my blessings as I go along now so that I keep sight of the really important things in life.
- A wonderful wife who loves me and would do anything for me. (I would too)
- Parents who just cant stop being your parents and everything synonymous with that.
- Siblings who make me revert to being the "baby of the house" persona whenever I am with them
- Good health. (could do with a little less gut and more exercise)
- The ability to communicate with anyone around the world almost instantaneously! (Try living in Aotearoa to appreciate this one!)
- Residence in a country that emphasizes work-life balance
- Friends that inspire me and who, after talking to them, always make me strive to be better than I was. (this one's for you Kene)
- A boss who genuinely makes working that much less seem like working and sincerely wants to see you reach your potential
- A community of Nigerians where I can go and speak Yoruba and bitch about how bad things are back home
- Reaching Week 13 and relinquishing full time cooking duties and celebrating a 1 in almost 4500 chance of that scary whatsathingy-called that people are afraid of. Not that I was ever worried about it.
So go ahead people, count the blessings. It doesn't have to be the really big stuff but just from the last week. And you will see how much you have going for you!
Friday, July 03, 2009
The King And I
I was 5 years old and it was my big sister's 10Th birthday.
We had all woken up full of excitement as we prepared to welcome a bevy of friends, guests and entertainment to celebrate my sister's first decade on earth.
Part of that excitement was the knowledge that there would be ample opportunity to dance to the music on what would become the best-selling album of all time.
Thriller.
An album with songs like Beat It; Billie Jean; Wanna Be Starting Something and of course the track that shared the same name as the album title. This is the earliest I remember my relationship with Michael Jackson starting.
This was a few years after the release of the album of course but in mid-eighties Lagos, Nigeria this was still the hottest and most played musical album ever. Combining funk, disco, soul, soft rock, R&B and pop (I lifted that straight from wikipedia), Thriller was not only a musical phenomenon but a dance extravaganza for us little kids who were born with soul and style in our little bodies. (If I do say so myself)
And I guess you could say the same about the Man himself.
King of Pop, Wacko Jacko, Peter Pan, whatever he was called, there was almost universal acclamation that this was a gifted genius. A gifted tortured genius but a genius all the same. I do not need to point out here how he revolutionized the music industry and became the biggest music star the world had ever known, all this has been covered much better and much more eloquently than I ever could. Not just his genius and his impact, but his slide into notoriety and the court cases that drew as much media attention as any of his world tours.
Fast forward to the "Bad" album and I remember my cousin Moyo and I ad-libbing to the song with the same name and pestering our mothers for black leather outfits with lots of silver rings on it. (We never got them). "The Way You Make Me Feel" tweaked open the door to the world of adolescence and Smooth Criminal ensured I would stay in it for a decent period.
Just in case there is any doubt, I am once and for all time a die-hard Michael Jackson fan. And it was always very hard for me to watch the way we devoured him with our adulation and attention. This was a man who was a victim of his own success. In every sense of the word!
Performing since the age of 5, a hit No 1 at the age of 11, forced to grow up in full glare of the world, brought to us by a media that fed fat on our insatiable appetite for more and more of him. Like my father-in-law said to me when I spoke to him a day after Michael's death, Michael Jackson was a gift to the world. His own happiness and mental well-being were secondary to his true purpose on earth. Which was to entertain and enrapture us.
And this I think captures what a lot of his detractors missed. There is no way it is possible for such genius to spring forth from a normal psyche. His non-existent childhood and unique experiences contributed directly to the sheer awesomeness of his being. Such genius ALWAYS has a price. Ask any genius.
And so this is to toast the man who would make 6-year old Ladi spring from his bed first thing in the morning and attempt the Moonwalk. (Constantly startling my brother who shared a room with me.) To the man who never actually grew up to become a man and remained (emotionally) at the age of pre-adolescence. The man who broke all barriers and had cross-over appeal no matter your race, origin or musical taste.
Like one of the articles on the Time Magazine website said, it didn't matter what you thought of him, when MJ wore those skinny black pants and white socks and did the Moonwalk, he was the coolest man on the planet. And we all wanted to be him. And for one glorious night 3 years ago, I was him!
Adieu MJ
PS
I have bought his entire musical collection.
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