What's in an Accent?

So there I was.

The Fonterra Customer Service Management team had scheduled presentations to selected groups of individuals. The presentations were going to cover the vision and strategy guidelines for the FCS for the coming year.

I had of course opened my big mouth too many times relishing the level of discussions and remembering my MC days in AIESEC International Congresses.

The Facilitator was just about to make a point on the difference between kiwis and Americans when he paused, turned and looked in my direction and asked with a quzzical smile on his face, "I hope there are no Americans here...". I looked behind me before I figured out he thought there was a chance I was one!

When I was in Sweden, I found that a lot of young Swedes spoke English with the accent of whatever English speaking country they happened to have gone to on their 'gap' year. Annika Hedstrom for instance had this Irish twang to her English having spent a year there as an exchange student! And the twang only got more pronounced when she met an Irishman!!!

Now my flatmates (and countless other people I have met over the years) have said when I speak English, its with an American accent. Emanuel Gavert in Sweden insisted I had a British accent. And others found it hard figuring out where I was from just from my English. All these people were however united in saying that my English was better than what they expected.

Small Wonder.

Nigeria was a British colony and English is the official language of the country. It is the language of parliament, the judiciary and the language of instruction in schools. From Kindergarten to University. With over 19 distinct native language groups in Nigeria, you can usually tell which part of Nigeria most members of my parent's generation come from due to their accents when they speak English. For their generation, English is a second language and the native language comes first. They think in the native language even if they are very articulate in the sometimes heavily accented English.

You can tell where many members of MY generation come from in Nigeria when they speak English too. However there is a growing concern for kids under 15. They have been exposed in many and more innovative ways to Western culture and icons. Particularly icons of the American brand. Rap music, hip-hop artists and sports personalities from the US are a big deal in Nigeria especially for kids who grow up in cosmopolitan urban centers. These kids speak flawless English with narry a hint of an accent (if any it would be American) and they DO NOT speak their native tongue! Parents actively support this by not speaking the native language to the kids at home and for some it is actually a source of pride!

Wise people have called for a discouragement to this trend and I agree. Nigerian Society loses touch with an integral part of its make-up when its kids shun the native languages and embrace English as the sole medium with which to communicate. The countless Indians I have met in my travels can argue points of law, strategy, science and philosophy in very articulate but heavily accented English. It is very heartwarming to see Hindi (or Gujarati, Kanada, Marathi, Tamil, Punjabi etc) being spoken when there are more than 2 Indians in a group.

My flatmates who say I speak flawless English are always astounded when I call home (or friends from Nigeria call me) and my accent, pronunciation and grammar changes! They struggle to understand me even though they are pretty sure I am still speaking English. Although I think in English more these days, when I am back home in Nigeria and surrounded by Yoruba speakers, I find that I can usually think in both languages.

One of the enduring memories of my time in Sweden was watching the finals of the Swedish Eurovision contest with my dear Maria. There was this comedian who was doing a mimic of the different Swedish accents from around the country. They all sounded the same to me but Maria was cracking up the entire time!!!

So what about you? What language do you think in? Do you speak English with an accent? Or do you speak your first language with a hint of an accent depending on which part of the country you come from?

Now THAT is what I call a Network...

I just had the coolest phone conversation.

Its 3am in the morning here in New Zealand and I just got off the phone with Kartik who used to be President of AIESEC in India.

The fact that our conversation even took place at all should be made a case-study and researched by some fancy think-tank who wants to examine the phenomenom called the "Global Village".

So there I am, chatting with various friends in the northern hemisphere on MSN. Kreta Shah a cute Indian girl who works for AIESEC in Denmark (and worked for AIESEC in Estonia last year) buzzed me and told me Kartik wanted to speak to me. Kartik added me on MSN and asked if it would be okay for him to give me a call. "Of course by all means" I replied, a little bit intrigued.

As it turns out, Kartik is in Mauritius (a tiny island off the coast of Africa, near Madagasar) working on a project for Inbev the huge global brewery. His next project will be in the "Heart of Africa" my dear country Nigeria! And he was wondering where he could get first-hand info about Nigeria, apart from the slanted and biased reports and accounts in Lonely Planet and on the BBC or CNN. So he turned to the Nigerian he knew who happens to be in New Zealand!!! How cool is all this? Or am I getting all tripped about this for nothing?!

I met Kartik (who is Indian by the way) in Switzerland at AIESEC's International Congress 2001 when he was still an LCP (I think) and then again at IC 2004 in Germany. He was national President then and there was a certain individual on his team who was also in Germany, although i didnt speak a single word to this individual.

I certainly had a lot to say and do to this individual the following year in Sweden when we worked together for AIESEC Sverige. I am of course talking about "my very own Indian" Amit Desai! The cute Indian girl mentioned above used to be his girlfriend.

If you are reading this and you have an international network of friends... know that you have something potentially powerful enough to make a key difference in how your life is shaped. And if you dont have one... well... I dont know what can be done... Get one I guess (an intl network I mean)

Whole Milk Powder or Milk Fat?!

My Cosy little corner on the Fonterra Customer Service Floor, Level 1, 9 Princes Street Central Business District Auckland.

Its a Friday evening and I had the Friday weelies! You know... when everything that can go wrong does, at 10 mins to 5pm!!!

I have had to look for an errant container of Whole Milk Powder originally scehduled to go to Syria but stuck on a vessel to Saudi Arabia to a customer who wanted Anhydrous Milk Fat! At a point... I threw up my hands and wondered aloud if we shouldnt just leave it on the boat and hope the customer doesnt notice the difference. Haha

I hope all y'all just waking up on the Northern hemisphere have a better one than i did.

Before You Leap...

"What Doesnt Kill You Only Makes You Stronger... as it exponentially increases your Insurance Premium"

I stumbled across the above quote in this gem of a book written by Kermit the Frog. It was credited to Gonzo. It kind of gives you an idea of what the book is about... Kermit attempts to give us good common sense ideas with a comedic twist and the warm humour he has been known for in the last 52 years.

I havent read the book myself but I certainly intend to go and buy it ASAP. Please find below an excerpt from the book. Courtesy of the ABC News website:

Hi ho! Kermit the Frog here! As you've probably guessed from the cover, the title, and all of these words, this is a book. Actually, it's two books. First, it's a book about my life. Second, it's a book about your life. Let me explain.

The first part of the book — the part about my life — tells the story of how I got here, from growing up in the swamp through my long career in Hollywood. (Call it an autobiography, if you must. The truth is we frogs have a real problem with any kind of autos, which is why street crossing is so stressful for your average amphibian.)

I've had a pretty extraordinary life so far. I've met kings, queens, presidents and pigs. I've worked with some of the greatest talents of all time — from Bob Hope and Rudolph Nureyev to Quentin Tarantino and Robert DeNiro. I've made movies, TV shows, music, and the occasional tabloid headline ("Frog & Hog: The Photos You Really Didn't Want To See!"). And through it all, I've been surrounded by some of the finest friends and fans a frog could ever want. This is my chance to tell that story.

It's also an opportunity to answer a lot of questions: How did a tadpole like me, born one of 2,353 brothers and sisters, make his way from the obscure snake-infested swamps of his youth to the, uh, snake-infested swamps of Hollywood? Who helped me, who influenced me, and what did I learn along the way?

Most of all, it's a chance to set the record straight. Let's face it, a lot has been said about my life over the years, most of it by Miss Piggy and her publicist. Here, at long last, I get my say.

The other part to this book — the part about you — is even more important. Y'see, I didn't want to write just another kiss-the-frog-and-tell celebrity book Hollywood can turn into a movie of the week starring someone who looks nothing like me but tests really well with 14- to 39-year-olds. I wanted to write a book that can actually make a difference in your life; a book that can help you rise above the muck and mire of your own personal swamp and reach for rainbows.

I want to fill you with hope and encourage you to dream. A good friend of mine, Jim Henson, captured this spirit perfectly when he said:
"I believe that we form our own lives, that we create our own reality and that everything works out for the best. I know I drive some people crazy with what seems to be ridiculous optimism, but it has always worked for me."

If this book can drive you — and those around you — crazy with ridiculous optimism, then it has done its job. Who knows, maybe by reading these lessons from my life, you'll be inspired to drop your tail, leave your swamp, and set out on a journey that's just as amazing and wonderful as mine.
Amphibiously yours,
Kermit the Frog

The very idea that Kermit the Frog could be writing a book, just touches that part of me that will never grow up. And it touches it in a way that my grown-up(?) psyche can actually relate it!

So go and get it... I certainly intend to.

"My Girlfriend's Diary"

~"I looked at the latest entry in my girlfriend's diary and read the following..."

I think my relationship is hitting the rocks.

It all started yesterday when my boyfriend became really moody and wouldnt talk to me. I asked him what was wrong and he just shrugged his shoulders and muttered "nothing'.

I wondered if he might still be mad at me over the arguement we had last week about the dishes? It was a minor arguement that really spiralled out of control. He was moody the whole day yesterday and I decided that if he hadnt snapped out of it by this morning, I would have to do something really drastic! Meanwhile, we made love last night and it seemed to be lacking that special something. Although I had 2 orgasms, his mind didnt seem to be there.

So this morning, I asked him if he wanted to go shopping and again that non-commital shrug while he muttered, "anything you want dear". He hates shopping!!! I took him on a whirlwind shopping spree downtown and bought a whole load of stuff and get this... I checked it all to HIS credit card and he didnt even blink an eyelid!!!

I then took him to this nice fancy restaurant where we had our first date AND our first kiss and I tried to get him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong. But he seemed distracted and kept insisting that there was nothing the matter.

By this time I was getting desperate. I had bought this nice silk negligee during our shopping spree and when we got home, I rushed into the bathroom, slipped into the negligee, put on the perfume he got for me at Christmas and got him into the bedroom where I managed to seduce him. The sex was really awesome this time but I just felt like something was still missing. When I tried to cuddle with him afterwards, he just fell asleep!!!

I am sitting up in bed now listening to him snore and I just know that there is something wrong. But why wont he talk to me about it????

My entry in my diary for the corresponding period was as follows:

"My Football team Chelsea, lost to Liverpool yesterday. But at least I had GREAT sex two nights in a row."~

PS
Above ancedote shows that Men really are from Mars and Women from Venus.
Chelsea DID lose to Liverpool but I dont have the slightest chance in hell of 'getting it' two nights in a row. At least not just yet!

A test of Optimism...

Last week was one of the most terrible I have ever had in a long long while...

I was sick with food poisoning after eating some old tuna fish in the fridge...

I consequently couldnt go to work for four days and was at home. Couldnt sleep, couldnt eat, very misreable...

On Friday, I started getting symptoms like the ones I had the day I had the Pulmonary Embolism, went to hospital and ended up staying at the doctor's pleasure for two nights. Came home on Sunday. Luckily, there was nothing wrong. (not more than usual) Just a slight cold that brought on asthma like symptoms. SO now I have to carry an inhaler around. Gosh! Am I slowly breaking down?

But on the plus side...

I found out how appreciated I am at work. My manager told me just how much but more on this later...
I am back to work and feel energised and healthier than I have in a long while.

But I have to admit, the previous week sorely tested my claim of incurable optimist! I am just glad to say I passed with flying colors!

The picture above is me with 2 of my teammates from my MC term in Nigeria. (the girl in the picture is some random member who was besotted with Isaac my MCP)
Dont ask me why i have it here. It seemed like a nice picture to go with the post.

An Irish Blessing (Or Two)

Two Thousand and Six...I got to say goodbye to you (and not vice versa!)
Two Thousand and Seven! I say welcome.

To all my friends, family and loved ones I pass on to you an Irish blessing I received from my friend Echemole in London...

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

And just because it IS the second day of the year already in New Zealand... here's a second one as well...

May your joys be as bright as the morning,
And your sorrows merely be shadows that fade,
In the sunlight of love.
May you have enough
happiness to keep you sweet.
Enough trials to keep you strong.
Enough sorrows to keep you human.
Enough hope to keep you happy.
Enough failure to keep you humble.
Enough success to keep you eager.
Enough friends to give you comfort.
Enough faith and courage in yourself to banish sadness.
Enough wealth to meet your needs.
And one thing more: enough
determination to make each day a more wonderful day
than the day before