In Search of a Good Conversation

I miss Isaac Okanlawon.

And He’s not the only one I miss.

I miss Ejiro Otiotio, Emma Gavert, Bros Solay, Maria Johansson and Tobi Odunowo. I miss Osibo Imhoitsike, Segun Sangowawa, Amit Desai and Oh. My. God. I MISS Labake Quadri. Of course I miss a WHOLE lot more people than these ones above. (I miss Tope so much its almost a physical pain sometimes!) And I miss them all for various different reasons! But the people above, all have two things in common.

1) – they all live in the northern hemisphere
2) – I had some bloody good conversations with each and every one of them!!!

Topics were as varied as the individuals themselves:

- I spoke about Love, Life and what a Swedish girl REALLY wants in a man with Maria
- Issues of politics, philosophy and what it takes to develop a nation like Nigeria with Isaac
- I was driven almost to the point of insanity by Kene with discussions on religion and belief systems
- Emma Gavert challenged my views on homosexuality and its taboo status in African culture versus its acceptance in Western civilization
- I counselled and shared Segun’s pain on relationship issues
- Osibo and I tried to prove to one another why our respective English Premiership sides were the best in the world
- I debated and regularly almost came to blows with Bros Solay on the state of the Nigerian nation and who was really to blame for the rot there.
- Almost any discussion and/or situation with Labake Quadri turned into a heated argument on pros and cons
- Amit and I went through the finer details of the Harry Potter series trying to decide if Harry was or was not a Hocrux…

…and so on and so forth

The closest thing I have to a good conversationist (sic) is my darling flatmate Mialy, who is from Madagascar and has very strong views on the death penalty and its abject failure in curbing serious crime.
And of course there is Sean my best friend here in New Zealand who I went to high school with in Nigeria. It's always interesting to hear his views on 'proper' behaviour for young girls and I know he is ALWAYS there for me to 'shoot the breeze' with.

So from being surrounded by all these damn good debaters and logical thinkers who are passionate about one thing or the other. I have been left with a couple of shining stars in Mialy and Sean.

Of course I never realized how much I cherished and enjoyed these conversations until I got here to New Zealand . Now don’t get me wrong when I say this. NZ is full of some pretty smart dudes and dudettes. The kiwis I have met and interacted with are hardy, friendly outgoing people. You are much more likely to get an invitation for a drink (or “piss-up” as it is more colourfully known) here in Auckland , after work than you would in Stockholm . But being so far away from EVERYWHERE seems to have its pros and cons.

Pros – You don’t have to worry about some rogue terrorist group targeting strategic locations in Auckland or Wellington . Its just too far away from the action.
Cons – Your distance from everything and everyone else makes you get into a “What’s-happening-in-the-world-not-that-I-really-care“ mode.

There is a serious dearth of good conversations in Auckland . At least available to me.

Anyone who knows me will know that I thrive in front of an audience. Of one or one hundred, it really doesn’t matter. I am so people-oriented that magical experiences that I go through alone hold no special meaning for me. There needs to be at least one other person there to laugh with and share the memories with. I was barely 20 years old when I decided that even girls that shared my bed, in addition to being physically alluring had to be intellectually stimulating. I have had some amazing “pillow talk” in my time I can tell you!

Now I am able to admit that a lot of those conversations fed my enormous ego and left me feeling that I could hold my own with some of the smartest people I have had the pleasure of meeting. (Kenechukwu Umeasiegbu as a case in point). But I ALWAYS increased my knowledge and answers gained led to even more stimulating questions.

Thank goodness for email, phone, skype and all the other inventions by man that has turned the world into a Global Village. The last time I spoke to Isaac on the phone was last week from his base in Amsterdam. We spoke for 35 minutes. And he was just calling to say a quick hi!

So this is what I have concluded. I have to go out more. Expand my social circle and meet some more interesting people in Auckland. Perhaps I should try and start a conversation with those I know already, a conversation that goes beyond Rugby and what the weather will look like today in Auckland. J

I will admit, being a sucker for a pretty face (among other assets) has distracted me in the past from recognising a good candidate for a good conversation. But that distraction is no longer there (or has being effectively muted) by Tope. So the next time I go to that nice Italian wine bar on High Street, I will have my priorities straight.

Providence send me more kindred spirits who recognises the importance of a bottle (or two or three) some cheese, and a never ending list of topics to get passionate about!