With this Ring I Thee Wed... Part II

Where were we now?

Ah yes... the bride's family was receiving the official letter of intent from the groom's family. I have understandably simplified the whole process here. There are countless songs, ceremony and specific forms that go back and forth between the families.

These can be called the preliminaries and depending on how long-winded the family representatives are... can last anywhere between an hour and a half and 3 hours!

Anyway... once intent has been signalled and received, it's time to get the potential suitor himself. All through the prelim activities, the groom is stationed outside and is not allowed in until this point. SO when the bride's family rep calls out, "So where is the young man seeking our daughter's hand in marriage?" (or something to that effect) the drummers, praise singers and young women of his family go and collect him.

Now it is not just a matter of leading him in by the nose, the whole event is taking place in a hall that has a long entrance hall. The bride's family has "sentries" and "toll-collectors" lined all along the route of the entrance hall. And the groom is expected to pay his 'dues' to all the vampires along the route here. This is sometimes in the form of gifts but more usually cash!

Which is why the groom usually assembles a posse behind him for this crucial aspect of the ceremony......now while every "groom's posse" that I have witnessed at wedding ceremonies has tried to intimidate the "toll-collectors and try to get away without paying too much, none of them has been very successful! My brother's wasnt either. We paid through the nose I can tell you!

And it wasnt restricted to the entrance hallway either. When we got to the front where the action was taking place. We found the bride's family representative feigning sleep. And we were informed that only a huge gift would be able to wake her up. Seeing as she was the only one able to introduce the groom to the bride's family, we had to again dispense with cash gifts! The rep tries to draw this out as long as possible in order to get the groom and his posse to drop as much as possible.
When it seemed we had dropped enough to buy a brand new car and she still wasnt 'waking up' one of my brother's friends whispered in my ear that perhaps if one of us delivered a well-placed smack to her face, that would do the trick!!!

Eventually she did 'wake up' and she made the very flowery introductions of the young man who had come seeking the hand of the beautiful damsel. And then we (my brother and his 'posse') were required to greet the elders of the bride's family in the traditional manner. In Yoruba culture, young men greet a much older person by prostrating on the floor... that is...lying on the floor and touching your head to the ground. Age is venerated in Yoruba culture and old age usually equates wisdom. Or at least is supposed to. Women kneel down on both knees.

So we were required to do this three times. Dont ask me why. I just know we had to do it three times...

Here we are preparing to go to ground!

And here we are giving homage to the elders of the bride's family in true Yoruba fashion!

Eventually my brother is left all alone on the floor as he is the principal 'plaintiff'! He is asked a series of trick questions which are all designed to ensure that he is made of the right stuff and will treat his bride with love, honor and respect! As you can see from the pic below, my brother doesnt mind all the questions in the least or even his proximity to the floor. He's going home with a beautiful bride at the end of it afterall!

Eventually the bride's family elders pronounce themselves satisfied and the groom is asked to pose with both sets of parents.

And now it's half-time in the proceedings!

No... No... a break is not given although drinks, refreshments and food will have been flowing all through the assembled guests, family members and friends.

The most important person in all these proceedings is now introduced into the fray. Once the groom has safely gotten approval and gotten all the trick questions correct. The bride's family representative calls out for the young lady in question. And who all the fuss is made about!

The bride is now ushered in as well with the expected fanfare. Drumming, dancing and singing. But with one added twist... she comes in veiled.

Now I am told that if things were being done strictly according to the book (which it wasnt in this case), the bride would come out with a group of other girls all similarly veiled and the prospective groom would have to pick out his sweetheart from among the veiled maidens!

Luckily for my brother, he was spared this particular test. And besides I am reliably informed that most brides dont want to share this moment with a whole bunch of wide-eyed maidens and risk her heart-throb pick the wrong woman!!!

SO my new sister-in-law danced in surrounded by her friends all singing and proclaiming her virtues and beauty for the whole world to hear. The veil shrouding her in mystery...

At this point, emotions run over and there are plenty of tears to go around. Especially as realization sets in that their daughter is actually going to start a brand new life with her husband.

The Groom's parents have the honor of unveiling the bride (or is it the groom?) and there are countless songs and dances that are performed at this stage!

Eventually, the bride's family rep performs the tying together ceremony which is kind of similar to what the priests in church do.

By this time, the guests are getting restless and invariably well-fed and just want to get on to the most interesting part of the whole day. At least according to some of them. The dancing part. After the forms have been met and the ceremony is done, there now comes much dancing and dancing and even more dancing and then some more dancing...

This dancing is the perfect culmination to the day as both sides having sat apart the whole day now come together and if the couple have chosen their colors properly, the whole venue is a wash of color and elegant outfits! Not to mention scintillating dance moves!