That Aussie Sense of Humour

The only reason I am posting the questions below is because I cannot get an image out of my head. That of Tom Gara the "Different Drummer" being asked these questions! They sound SOOOOO much like answers he would come up with it.

The Aussies and Kiwis are always having a go at each other and at the risk of being visited by immigration officials, I think the Aussies always come off the better in these delightful verbal wars!

I had read this before today but can't remember if it was on a blog or a forwarded email: ENJOY!

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not..
oh forget it. ..... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk
is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

"Why Being a Nigerian is so Hard"

There is a saying in the Quadrant Hotel where I work a second job as a 'concierge', about Americans.

Whatever their faults and funny accents, no matter how demanding and unreasonable they might be... they give very hefty tips! The reason for this highlight shall be made clear later on in this post.

The title of this piece is taken directly from this article in the Guardian Newspaper online by Sonala Olumhense. He writes about the promise and expectations of the Nigerian populace in 1999 when civil rule was restored to Nigeria. He argues that by and large that promise and the expectations have not been met.

It wasnt until I moved so far away from my friends and family to New Zealand that I experienced some sort of home-sickness. My previous travels have always been in the Northern Hemisphere where give or take only a couple of hours, you went to bed at the same time as the bulk of your family members and friends. In New Zealand, the major immigrant presence is Asian and the sight of a black face on Queen Street in Auckland still warrants that you stop and say hello. If only because it is that rare to see.

My feelings of home-sickness lessened considerably when I met and interacted with other Nigerians here in Kiwiland. I consider myself a through and through nomad (international nomad) but I am very proud to say that I still have STRONG connections and links to my heritage. This is exhibited in language, music and values.

Unfourtunately, when I meet people and I tell them I am from Nigeria, what springs to mind are invariably negative connotations. Spam mails and all that...

Meet an American and you get that, "I-am-an-American-so-dont-mess-with-me" attitude. The US has spent the last 2 centuries proving to the world that you dont mess with any one of their citizens or you pay for it. And they back it up with technological advancement, largest market in the economic world and all that 'sole remaining Super power in the world' bullshit.

Get introduced to a German and you expect him/her to be a boring, efficient, always-on-time machine.
An Australian bloke should be this laid back, hard to understand guy who is very helpful and keeps saying, 'G'day mate!'
And I hear in the European Union these days, a Pole is this sexy, well toned plumber who is coming to take all the food from the mouth of the original members of the EU.

The point here is that most countries project these stereotypes that put their nationalities in a good light and that come to embody what being from that particular country means. Most immigrants (economic or political) usually have to work EXTRA hard to prove that they have what it takes to make it in their adopted country.

We Nigerians must have that 10 times more.

I have had people who are just meeting me, ask me why these emails asking for your bank account seem to come only from Nigeria. Other Africans also seem to think Nigerians are responsible for a lot of vices that come into their countries. Case in point being the 'black magic' movies that are exported to the whole continent. I met this slightly drunk Ethiopian girl the other day and when she heard I was Nigerian, she jumped behind a friend and screamed in mock fear, "Save me, dont let him cast a spell on me"

Everytime I listen to the issues being discussed in the NZ parliament or read about the latest policy measures announced by Gordon Brown, I shake my head and wonder when my dear country will reach the level and maturity of these kind of decision making.

Now elections were held recently in Nigeria and the main opposition candidate was the current Vice President who had fallen out of favor with the ruling party.

He was going around making statements like, 'this current administration is very corrupt"! The same administration he was a part of for 7 years but after being outmanuveured out of contention, he switched sides. The election was very very flawed and it is a measure of the despondency that people are willing to let it slide and just want to get on with their lives!

For me, being Nigerian means I have to apply for a visa to every single country I want to visit. Every single country. It means I have to present myself physically to the Thai embassy in London to apply for a Thai visa. Even though there is an embassy here in New Zealand.

But what is this trifle of mine, compared to the tens of millions of Nigerians who live on less than 3 dollars a day and yet see the wealth that being the 6th largest producer of oil generates all around them. The wealth being concentrated in the hands of a few elites who mismanage it. To them, being Nigerian means seeing the elites move around and arrogate power to themselves while they have no idea where lunch is coming from as breakfast is being served

And ask people all around the world from Business, Science, Academia, Commerce and the arts who know a Nigerian personally, they consider him/her as an exception. For every decent and positive Nigerian they have met, they have received 10 emails asking them for their credit card details or a bank transfer all purporting to be Central Bank Governor.

No day passes by without me dreaming about what could be. For my country. Perhaps its time to stop dreaming and start acting. God knows I know firsthand how hard it is to do exactly that.

Finally... an African Night on my Blog

I seem to finally have tricked my computer at home to start uploading pictures on my blog again!

I wanted to upload this picture exactly a month ago when Maria Farres was visiting and we attended the, "Miss NZ African Continental Beauty Pageant".

This was such a wonderful picture of the contestants in their evening gown. Such a stunning background and nice contrast of colors. And the beauty of the girls!

Lets see if I can get any more pictures on my blog!

MY Visual DNA

It has been quite a while hasnt it?

My blog is so far down the list of updated blogs in nomadlife.org right now and its not because there is nothing happening... its the other option... Too many things going on and no time to blog about them.

So thought it would be great to break the silence with this really cool Visual DNA thingy I first saw on Bee's blog and that has been popping up on various other blogs.

It is pretty cool!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Work Team...

Check out the Middle-East and Africa team of the Fonterra Customer Service in Auckland! A very very diverse team. And the bestest and funest team on the floor!

Since the names wouldnt make much meaning, I will introduce by nationality:

Back row From left to right: Iranian-Indian; Tongan; Nigerian; Kiwi; Moroccan-Swedish; Samoan; Englishman; Indian

And the four girls in the front row: Samoan; Kiwi; Madgascan; Kiwi

The tiny lady in the front row 2nd from left is Karen Bouzaid. The bestest boss in the world! And Vicki (extreme right front row) is my hot supervisor who took such wonderful care of me when I was in hospital.

I am meeting with my new AIESEC buddy this evening (TGIF). A delightfully cute and funny Russian-Isreali girl. I already met her at the NZ AIESEC conference I attended over Easter weekend so this will be the official catch-up! Going for drinks afterwards with the whole team above to send off the Englishman who is leaving to start another job!

I love Fridays!

PS
It seems its my computer at home that cant upload pictures to blogger. I am posting from work now (hey! its a Friday evening!!!) and pictures are posting no problem.

Any ideas anyone?

A True Blue...

I confirmed today that the fortunes of Chelsea Football Club SW6 1HS London United Kingdom is very dear to my heart!

I got back from my second job at 06:45 (NZT) and hurried to switch on the TV to Sky Sports 2.

Unfourtunately for me, it was the other Quarter-Final match between Manure and Roma FC of Italy that was being screened live from the UEFA Champions League competition.

Since I started work again at 1300 (NZT) I decided to go to bed and get my requisite 5 hours of sweet slumber. It was anything but!

I tossed and I turned and I kept waking up, drifting back to sleep and ended up dreaming I was a member of the Chelsea squad and we were getting hammered by Valencia FC in Spain. I woke up in a cold sweat and realized after a 10 second delay that it was a dream! I looked longingly at my computer and almost got up to check the live scores from ESPN.com but decided not to!

Eventually, I got up at noon and pounced on my computer. The headline screaming at me from the Sports Page was "Manchester United Storm into Semi-Finals". And as a sub-header, "Essien puts Blues through" YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Apparently, Manure steam-rollered Roma 7 goals to 1! (Holy Shit!) while, more importantly Michael Essien, the Ghanian powerhouse scored a winning goal in the FINAL minute to put the Blues through into the Semi-final of the most prestigious club competition in the world!

Despite not getting enough sleep, I have been in a buzz the whole day and everything just seems to be hunky-dory! Its amazing how the fortunes of my club (yes its mine!) can make such a huge difference! Even manure getting through is a plus for us. Because it means they ALSO have 2 extra games to play and it becomes that much more difficult for them to defend their lead at the top of the Premiership! Not enough depth in squad. Saha, Vidic and Gary Neville are all side-lined, no one to replace them.

Another interesting thing is that Manure is looking to become finalists opposite us in the remaining three competitions we are pushing for honors. Premiership, FA Cup and Champions League. Of course we still need to get past Liverpool in the semis of the CL but hey...!

I Love this Game! I love Chelsea and when I grow up, I want to be exactly like Jose Mourinho!

Jose Mourinho is without a doubt the best manager in the world. Apart from being a genius of a tactician who can read a game to the finest detail, his colorful character and outrageous quotes have livened up the English Premiership as a whole. His substitution (a returning Joe Cole for Lassana Diarra) at half-time of this game against Valencia showed without a doubt that truly, he is a "Special One"!

No matter what Roman Abrahamovic holds against him, this victory against Valencia must have made him stop to think. If you get rid of Jose Mourinho in the summer, it would be the single biggest mistake yet in the history of the English game!!!

I can only hope that Jose becomes synonymous with Chelsea as Sir Alex Ferguson has become with Manchester United!

LONG LIVE THE BLUES!!!

I cant post pictures

BUGGER!

An African Day in New Zealand...

The history of Africa is a very one-sided story indeed.

It is told in terms of European involvement with Africa. I remember my history lessons in school back then when the earliest dates we had to commit to memory were the dates the Portuguese traders landed on the shores of Africa.

Whatever went on there BEFORE that?

Maria Farres (who is enthralled with Africa by the way) was reading this book while she was here. I forget its name now but the preface described the European powers of the day parcelling out the continent of Africa in London, Berlin and Paris. There was absolutely no concern for the peoples living there and lines were drawn cutting nations and lumping historical enemies together.

It is interesting to note that when the Organization for African Unity (precursor to the present African Union) was being formed in 1963 one of the first things the members incorporated into the charter was that all pre-independence borders would remain the same. They would not even be discussed! This I guess was wise thinking, to prevent the whole continent going up in flames over border disputes. One of the oldest excuses man has, to kill his fellow man!

The resources and natural endowments of Africa were exploited for the empire-building exercise of the European powers. Nigeria was created for instance in 1914 from an amalgation of two admin divisions of the British empire for 'easier' administration.

Of course after WWII, the British's position became untenable and the independence of India in 1947 gave rise to the same nationalist tendencies in Africa. Ghana under Kwame Nkrumah became the first African nation to gain its independence in 1957.

So on Saturday, March 17, the Ghanian community in New Zealand came together to celebrate 50 years of independence. That day turned out to be an African day for Maria, Sean and myself. The festivities were held in a community town hall and it was quite nice to see the national dresses and dances, and generally just to be among so many other Africans!

There was a Maori group who did the haka, and I can tell you it was a whole lot more impressive than when Ryan and Taco did it at IPM in the Netherlands!

Knowing your Sauvignons, Pinors and Chardonnays

I have a lot to be grateful to Emma Gavert for.

One of the many things she developed in me was an appreciation for food. You see, before I lived in Sweden and had all those countless dinners with Emma, Maria and Amit, I considered food as basically... fuel. I was hungry, I ate. It didnt matter what I was eating as long as it tasted good and more importantly... that it filled my (now) big tummy!

But Emma... preparing dinner with Emma was always an experience. From shopping for exactly the right brand of guacomole to making sure that we had the right wine for the meal. Amit and I used to call her a "Food Fascist". Anyway... I consider it an integral part of my education that I started caring exactly what went into my mouth as food, how it is prepared, where it prepared and striving for that perfect meal.

I took a huge step further down that education when Maria Farres who was here for 2 weeks took me along to a wine tasting tour.

The day consisted of visits to 5 wineries and a huge huge lunch. We tasted whites, reds and dessert wines in fruity, spicy and oaken flavours. To be honest, after the second winery they all started to taste the same to me. So I guess I still have some way to go in my education.

But it was interesting to learn that Australia and the US acount for a huge chunk of wine production in the world. There are actually wineries in the US that make more wine in a week than the whole of New Zealand makes!

Champagne can either be artificial bubbles or traditionale methode made. And actually... "Champagne" can only be used to refer to wines that are made in the Champagne region of France. If a wine-maker in Australia called one of his wines "Champagne", he would get his ass sued off! Although there are countless variants of the magic bubbly around the world!

I will be taking more of these tours in future and I WILL take a notebook along. Apparently it impresses the ladies no end if you are able to ask for a particular Pinot Noir from a particular year to go with that fish!

On Nakedness and Nudity

In August last year, a New Zealand porn film producer organized a Boobs-on-Bikes parade. It is an annual event where dozens of beautiful girls ride on the backs of Motor Bikes dressed in skin tight leather pants and well... nothing else.



At the time, it caused a lot of brouhaha as the said producer applied for some council support with crowd control whereupon he was told he would need a permit for the parade. He defied the council and went ahead anyway with the parade, which was well attended! You can read the full story here.

And No I was not there as I was working very hard in the office at the time.

Anyway, I asked 2 posts ago if anyone had any ideas on the difference between Nakedness and Nudity.

Most dictionaries define them as one and the same but there is a fundamental difference.

Nakedness comes with an awareness of nudity and an attendant inhibition and embarassment.
Nudity is free of this awareness.

So if one of my flatmates was without clothes in her room, she would be described as being "in the nude". But if I charge into the room without knocking and see her in all her glory... she instantly becomes naked!!!

Nudist beaches contain a lot of people in the nude as everyone else there being without clothes and acting normally, removes that inhibition that causes nakedness. But if some dirty old man starts staring rudely at the nicely proportioned shape of some hapless damsel, and she notices him staring he instantly renders her naked.

Pretty interesting isnt it?

And just to make writing this post more enjoyable, I wrote it in the nude!!!

Typical Nigerian Humour...

I just got an email joke from a friend and I just had to share it but a bit of background first.

Nigeria's 150 million population is made up of about 19 distinct ethnic groups. There are three dominant ones (in terms of population and sphere of influence). The Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa.

The Yoruba are in and around the Lagos Estuary and savannah of the South West, the Igbo on the beaches and hills of the South-East and the Hausa are in the sahel and desert regions of the north.
This is of course very simplified.
If you are interested in a detailed lesson click here.

The following joke follows the classic template you have all around the world... like the Kiwis tell of the Aussies; Americans tell of the Canadians; Italians tell of the French; Swedes tell of Norwegians; Danes tell of Swedes and everybody tells about Belgians.

And oh yeah... I am Yoruba!


Abeg make una read this story follow me laugh... (Pidgin English for, “Please read this story and laugh with me”)

------------

Three Nigerians, one Hausa, one Igbo and one Yoruba sat somewhere in Saudi Arabia , sharing a smuggled barrel of beer and feeling rather safe. But, all of a sudden, the police stormed their hideout and arrested them. After the sort of trial expected in a theocracy, they were handed the death sentence. But, since it was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided to commute the capital sentence. He ordered that they should be released after each had received 20 lashes of horsewhip on his bare backside.

As the convicts prepared for their punishment, the Sheikh made an announcement: 'It is my dear first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping. You can wish anything, except wishing not to be walloped!'

The Hausa man thought for a second and then mouthed his wish: Please tie a pillow to my back before whipping me. His wish was carried out. But the pillow lasted for ten lashes, which meant that the second half of the thrashing impacted on his torso, sending him shivering in anguish.

The Igbo man smiled. If a pillow lasted ten lashes, why, he could get away without any skin pain. Please tie two pillows to my back before flogging me. This was done and the happy fellow with the Igbo man sense only heard the 20 lashes delivered but felt no pain at all.

The Yoruba man took in everything that had transpired. Because he was grinning from ear to ear, the Sheikh and his lieutenants thought he was going to ask for, perhaps, the impenetrable shield of 30 pillows. But before he could make his wish, the Sheikh remembered. He remembered that the man shared the same ethnicity with the Nigerian President. Hold your wish a second, the Sheik said. Since you share the same ethnicity with Baba, the greatest president to come, not just out of Nigeria but also out of Africa and the entire Black world, you are permitted to have two wishes!

Upon hearing this the Yoruba man lifted both his hands in celebration, just like a professional pugilist that had finally floored a most stubborn opponent. When his hands finally came down he spoke. Before I make my wishes, I must first thank very seriously your most royal and merciful highness, said the Yoruba man. May Allah bless you ten times every day and a million times on each Friday.

Now, to come to what we are talking about, which are my wishes. The first one is this: I wish to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whips available.If you so desire, the Sheikh replied with a puzzled look on his face. And your second wish?"Tie the Igbo man to my back."

Since I was born....

There is this song we used to sing in AIESEC Nigeria back in the days. We sang it to the tune of a Christian melody./..

"Since I was Born...
And Now I am old...
I have never seen a woman Naked...!"
"Ladi have you seen?

(And then I answer) NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NON O NON ON
I have never seen a woman naked!

Well I just saw a woman in the nude!

It is 03:27am and I am taking a break on my graveyard shift in The Quadrant. 30 mins ago however, I was delivering room service to a room and a woman who was completely in the nude (and piss drunk) opened the door. She was completely unaware of her nudity and she didnt notice I was in total shock for a few seconds!!!

I stammered something incoherent and passed across the tray I was holding. She took it, placed it on the table behind her, signed the check and closed the door.

I made it to the elevator before I collapsed in a heap laughing like crazy!!!
I just had to share this immediately which is why I rushed to the computer in the staff room. CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!!!

On another note...
Notice I refer to the woman as "...being in the nude". She was NOT naked. Can anyone tell the difference?

Mixed Up Body Clock

The time is 07h31 AM and I have been awake for the last two and a half hours.

I havent worked at my Concierge job for the last week but my body apparently doesnt know this.

Still trying to adjust to staying up all night and then getting 5 hours of deep deep sleep, suddenly trying to sleep through the whole night is confusing my poor body. And if that confuses you too, small wonder?

I work tonight anyway and then Maria Farres arrives tomorrow morning. Yipee!

An Enquiring Mind

My Goodness! It's been such a long while since I posted hasnt it?

And it is not for a lack of interesting things happening to me. I have gone through what I am sure the hundred (thousands) of other bloggers go through when they go so far as to open the "New Post" window but then just close it. Too lazy, not inspired, just plain cowardice, lack of discipline, call it what you will. Ah Well... now I am posting, let us hope I finish it.

So can you put a price on a human life?

Of course not. We generally put a price on most other things (including other 'lower' animals) but human life is generally seen as being sacroscant and with immeasurable value. Thank Goodness for civilization as we know it now.

But what CAN be measured in monetary terms is the effort that goes towards saving a human life. And if you think I am talking baloney... why do you think doctors are some of the most well paid members of society? (Functioning societies at least)

Anyway... those of you who have been interested in my particular odyssey will know that I had a near miss incident at the end of last year and spent 8 days in hospital. What most of you will not have known is that I got slapped with a twenty thousand dollar hospital bill. US$. ($US20,000.00) And before I go on....

IF YOU DONT HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE, GO OUT AND GET ONE RIGHT AWAY!!!

Ok ok ok... my bad! I SHOULD have gotten health insurance as soon as I got into NZ but I didnt, I mean... I have never been majorly sick in my life before and I just kept postponing it! But thats all in the past now. So not only am I stuck on blood thinning tablets for a while but I also had to contend with a crippling interest free payment plan.

I said "had", its not all doom and gloom.

I realized while I was in hospital just how much of an impact I have had at work. My boss and indeed the whole Fonterra management structure were and have been absolutely wonderful. And my boss gave me good news some weeks ago that she (and HR) would be absolutely delighted to offer me a more permanent contract after my traineeship is over! I am one of eight AIESEC interns here and I am the only one who has received this offer.

The original payment plan with the hospital was based on my 18 month contract with Fonterra and was spread across my remaining time in NZ. I would have been paying more than half of my salary from Fonterra (Did I ever mention how GOOD the salary is?) and after my other bills, it would have been a real slog I can tell you. And I would have done this for 12 months! But now with the offer of the contract from my wonderful first class; market leader; progessive and innovative company (just in case my boss is reading) I can spread the payments across a more longer period than 12 months.

I actually made one payment in January and boy... It was worse than when I was living in one of the most expensive cities in the world and earning 350 Euros a month!!!

So now I am in the process of getting things finalized with NZ immigration so I can have something formal to present to the hospital and in the meantime, I still have to make some sort of payment to the hospital, which I am. I have however drastically reduced the amount I am paying .

However... my one and only big brother is getting married in June in Nigeria and I happen to be best man! (More on this later) So in order to make sure I am there to prevent my bro from bailing out on the day... I have had to get a second job!!! (Think Flight ticket, paying for the tuxedo, spending money... and I am soooooo far away)

Yep... I am now working a second job in a really trendy hotel in downtown Auckland city. Its actually less than a hundred meters from Fonterra Center so it works out really good since my place is just 15 mins away as well. Check out the website on The Quadrant and 'we' even have a blog!

So from 1300-2200 NZT, I am a corporate Customer Service Executive with major accounts in the Middle East and moving millions of dollars worth of milk products every week. And from 2230 to 0630 the next day for 4 nights a week, I am a concierge in the Front Desk department of The Quadrant. I make sure Guests get a big welcoming smile when they arrive, help them with their lugagge and generally strive to ensure their every need is met while they are staying with us!

Welcome to the real world.

I called a friend in Nigeria and when I told him, he commented, "You poor lazy mummy's boy, how are you coping?"I work 16 hours a day now and for someone who has been used to sleeping at least 8 hours a day... my poor body found it hard going the first week. This is my second week and I am still adjusting. I leave The Quadrant at 0630 (no exceptions) and I'm in bed by 0700. Get up at 1230 and rush around trying to get ready for Fonterra. I am so thankful that I do not have problems falling asleep.

I am also thankful for a lot of other things.

- For being alive to have these 'challenges' (I could be dead)
- For being blessed with such an optimistic personality
- For the support of my parents who would have sent me financial assistance (but they are not)
- For my siblings with their constant show of love (even if they still treat me like a kid);
- For friends and colleagues;
- I am thankful for AIESEC and the experiences I had there

My dear friend Kene Umeasiegbu it was, who said to me when I was leaving for New Zealand. "Approach each experience with an enquiring mind..." I take this to mean that I should not fall into a 'routine' and closed mindset but constantly seek to learn and truly "live". Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish you might say.

So expect a lot of exciting new stories from my new job, I already have quite a few... "Naked people opening their doors to collect room service; A bewildered elderly guest who thought he wsa in Australia; Nafeez, the ebullient manager I work with..."

Endless, endless journey called Life!

Running of the Bulls...

My company held an event involving all members of staff, jugs of milk, the steepest hill in Auckland and lots of huffing and puffing!!!

It was a relay in which each floor of our 11 floor building had to field a team of four people who would run relay! Each team had to have at least one female.

I was very keen to be a part of the Level 1 team but my boss insisted that a body bag could not be easily allocated to any cost center. Moreso as this was the same hill I had my Pulmonary Embolism!

It was a very nice Kiwi summer day and staff emptied out in their droves to cheer on their teams. Since I was not a member of the relay team, guess which floor had the most colorful and vocal supporters??? It also helped that we have a Latin America team on my floor!

Its events like this (The Running of the Bulls") that let Fonterra be such a nice and fun place to work!
PS
See if you can spot me in the picture above... hint - I am wearing green!

A Huge Load off My Shoulders...

Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

I took that step, in what is turning into a multi-faceted, action-packed story of life. Of Epic proportions. And I felt like Atlas on a sabbatical from his world-carrying duties!

I am too tired to write more. What a journey though!
PS
That's David, President of AIESEC in Auckland and my host when I first arrived in NZ, in the pic with me!

I Like Birthdays...

Here I am with Rusha who shares my birthday date. Not the actual day. We are seven years apart. (Gosh I am old!)

I had dinner at a really posh Thai restaurant with a bunch of friends to round up a really relaxing birthday for me. I also got phone-calls literally from around the world wishing me a happy birthday.

I like birthdays!

Feb 04 - That Special of Days (I think!)

Yep Its My Birthday Today!

So send in all your best wishes. I expect more than 20 comments on this post by the end of the day. Well...maybe by the end of Feb 05 in the northern hemisphere. Haha

I share my birthday with quite a lot of notable people. Labake Quadri, Rusha, Leah, Natalie Imbruglia, Oscar De La Hoya, Rosa Parks, Sean's mother... (It's amazing the information you can get from the internet, isnt it?)

And here are some interesting facts on me for being born on the exact day I was...

- My date of conception was on or about 14 May 1980 which was a Wednesday
- I was born on a Wednesday
- My birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/16/1980 and ending 2/4/1981. Chinese year of the Monkey Twas the very last day of the Monkey!
- My age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.71624266144814 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for ME!)
- Endless Love by Diana Ross & Lionel Richie was a top song in 1981


If you would like to know when or about your parents conceived you and such other miscellaneous facts, you can visit Paul Sadowski.

Off to the Beach now...

Harry Potter Fever...

And So it begins all over again!

Well actually, it began a little after the first book in the Series was published and Harry Potter and the Philosper's Stone had more or less been transformed by word of mouth and some slick marketing by Bloomsbury's Press into a global phenomenom! Or perhaps... it's not fair to say that. The book ACTUALLY sold itself and opened up a hirtherto unknown world of imagination to kids.

Kids had been having it easy (or hard depending on how you look at it) and not given the opportunity to use their own imagination in the way that books are wont to do to you. Multimedia, Television, Video Games were basically the order of the day (they still are to a large extent) and kids were plugging in to already created worlds and fantasies and not necessarily creating one for themselves!

I remember as an 8 year old kid myself the Enid Blyton books I read. She had the ability to take you away into her world of fairies, golliwogs, elves, kid detectives and once you were there, you just started creating and expanding this world until you made it your very own! Hans Christian Anderson book of fairy tales was also a favorite. And who can forget Archie comics? Tintin? Asterix adventures? Ah! Those were the days!

Joanne Kathleen Rowling has become a force to reckon with as well. Credited with bringing kids back to reading books, having her books translated into various languages and into a hugely successfull movie franchise (you cant avoid it can you?!) and becoming a billonaire in the bargain! This a woman who was once on welfare! (can you imagine?!)

To be honest I wasnt interested in the Harry Potter books when they first came out. They got up to Book 5 before I was snatched bodily and dumped on the bandwagon. I was in a London bookstore buying a book in another long running series (Wheel of Time). I was told I would have to come back the next day to pick up the book. I had been looking forward to reading that book that day and looked round to see if I couldnt pick up something else to occupy my time until the next day. Harry Potter happened to be sitting on a display stand right next to me (the book not the boy). I purchased "The Philospher's Stone" and took it it home with me.
When I went back the next day to pick up my ordered book, I purchased Books 2 - 5!!! Been hooked ever since!

Waiting for Book 6 was such an interesting experience. There is a whole sub-culture of Harry Potter on the internet, I joined internet forums dedicated to discussing plots and snippets of the series. You can sign up to become a student of Hogwarts (the training school for Wizards and Witches), answer questions to determine what house you would be 'sorted' into in Hogwarts and so much more...

When Book 6 was released, I was in Nigeria and it didnt go on sale immediately there. Luckily I was leaving for Sweden via London and Amsterdam and I was sure I would get it in one of those cities. But alas! It was sold out in ALL the London bookstores I went to (it sold 2 million copies in the UK on the day of release) sold out in Amsterdam as well, I had to wait till Stockholm in maybe the 6th bookshop I tried before finding a copy!

And now I know the date for the release of the 7th and final book. Before it was announced, you were able to slip it to the back of your mind. It's coming but you dont know when exactly! Now I know and it ranks right up there with going home to Nigeria in May and my brother's wedding in June! Ok.. maybe not the wedding but still....

Let's see how many records this one will break. Oh Gosh I can hardly wait!!!

What's in an Accent?

So there I was.

The Fonterra Customer Service Management team had scheduled presentations to selected groups of individuals. The presentations were going to cover the vision and strategy guidelines for the FCS for the coming year.

I had of course opened my big mouth too many times relishing the level of discussions and remembering my MC days in AIESEC International Congresses.

The Facilitator was just about to make a point on the difference between kiwis and Americans when he paused, turned and looked in my direction and asked with a quzzical smile on his face, "I hope there are no Americans here...". I looked behind me before I figured out he thought there was a chance I was one!

When I was in Sweden, I found that a lot of young Swedes spoke English with the accent of whatever English speaking country they happened to have gone to on their 'gap' year. Annika Hedstrom for instance had this Irish twang to her English having spent a year there as an exchange student! And the twang only got more pronounced when she met an Irishman!!!

Now my flatmates (and countless other people I have met over the years) have said when I speak English, its with an American accent. Emanuel Gavert in Sweden insisted I had a British accent. And others found it hard figuring out where I was from just from my English. All these people were however united in saying that my English was better than what they expected.

Small Wonder.

Nigeria was a British colony and English is the official language of the country. It is the language of parliament, the judiciary and the language of instruction in schools. From Kindergarten to University. With over 19 distinct native language groups in Nigeria, you can usually tell which part of Nigeria most members of my parent's generation come from due to their accents when they speak English. For their generation, English is a second language and the native language comes first. They think in the native language even if they are very articulate in the sometimes heavily accented English.

You can tell where many members of MY generation come from in Nigeria when they speak English too. However there is a growing concern for kids under 15. They have been exposed in many and more innovative ways to Western culture and icons. Particularly icons of the American brand. Rap music, hip-hop artists and sports personalities from the US are a big deal in Nigeria especially for kids who grow up in cosmopolitan urban centers. These kids speak flawless English with narry a hint of an accent (if any it would be American) and they DO NOT speak their native tongue! Parents actively support this by not speaking the native language to the kids at home and for some it is actually a source of pride!

Wise people have called for a discouragement to this trend and I agree. Nigerian Society loses touch with an integral part of its make-up when its kids shun the native languages and embrace English as the sole medium with which to communicate. The countless Indians I have met in my travels can argue points of law, strategy, science and philosophy in very articulate but heavily accented English. It is very heartwarming to see Hindi (or Gujarati, Kanada, Marathi, Tamil, Punjabi etc) being spoken when there are more than 2 Indians in a group.

My flatmates who say I speak flawless English are always astounded when I call home (or friends from Nigeria call me) and my accent, pronunciation and grammar changes! They struggle to understand me even though they are pretty sure I am still speaking English. Although I think in English more these days, when I am back home in Nigeria and surrounded by Yoruba speakers, I find that I can usually think in both languages.

One of the enduring memories of my time in Sweden was watching the finals of the Swedish Eurovision contest with my dear Maria. There was this comedian who was doing a mimic of the different Swedish accents from around the country. They all sounded the same to me but Maria was cracking up the entire time!!!

So what about you? What language do you think in? Do you speak English with an accent? Or do you speak your first language with a hint of an accent depending on which part of the country you come from?