I just got an email joke from a friend and I just had to share it but a bit of background first.
Nigeria's 150 million population is made up of about 19 distinct ethnic groups. There are three dominant ones (in terms of population and sphere of influence). The Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa.
The Yoruba are in and around the Lagos Estuary and savannah of the South West, the Igbo on the beaches and hills of the South-East and the Hausa are in the sahel and desert regions of the north.
This is of course very simplified.
If you are interested in a detailed lesson click here.
The following joke follows the classic template you have all around the world... like the Kiwis tell of the Aussies; Americans tell of the Canadians; Italians tell of the French; Swedes tell of Norwegians; Danes tell of Swedes and everybody tells about Belgians.
And oh yeah... I am Yoruba!
Abeg make una read this story follow me laugh... (Pidgin English for, “Please read this story and laugh with me”)
------------
Three Nigerians, one Hausa, one Igbo and one Yoruba sat somewhere in Saudi Arabia , sharing a smuggled barrel of beer and feeling rather safe. But, all of a sudden, the police stormed their hideout and arrested them. After the sort of trial expected in a theocracy, they were handed the death sentence. But, since it was a national holiday, the Sheikh decided to commute the capital sentence. He ordered that they should be released after each had received 20 lashes of horsewhip on his bare backside.
As the convicts prepared for their punishment, the Sheikh made an announcement: 'It is my dear first wife's birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping. You can wish anything, except wishing not to be walloped!'
The Hausa man thought for a second and then mouthed his wish: Please tie a pillow to my back before whipping me. His wish was carried out. But the pillow lasted for ten lashes, which meant that the second half of the thrashing impacted on his torso, sending him shivering in anguish.
The Igbo man smiled. If a pillow lasted ten lashes, why, he could get away without any skin pain. Please tie two pillows to my back before flogging me. This was done and the happy fellow with the Igbo man sense only heard the 20 lashes delivered but felt no pain at all.
The Yoruba man took in everything that had transpired. Because he was grinning from ear to ear, the Sheikh and his lieutenants thought he was going to ask for, perhaps, the impenetrable shield of 30 pillows. But before he could make his wish, the Sheikh remembered. He remembered that the man shared the same ethnicity with the Nigerian President. Hold your wish a second, the Sheik said. Since you share the same ethnicity with Baba, the greatest president to come, not just out of Nigeria but also out of Africa and the entire Black world, you are permitted to have two wishes!
Upon hearing this the Yoruba man lifted both his hands in celebration, just like a professional pugilist that had finally floored a most stubborn opponent. When his hands finally came down he spoke. Before I make my wishes, I must first thank very seriously your most royal and merciful highness, said the Yoruba man. May Allah bless you ten times every day and a million times on each Friday.
Now, to come to what we are talking about, which are my wishes. The first one is this: I wish to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whips available.If you so desire, the Sheikh replied with a puzzled look on his face. And your second wish?"Tie the Igbo man to my back."
No comments:
Post a Comment