Use a Happy Memory as a Guide

The earliest ever memory I have is one of being trapped and wussing out.



I have no idea how old I was but I was sufficiently young enough that I was still sleeping in a cot in my parent's room. So no more than 18 months.


I woke up in the middle of the night and felt an overwhelming urge to join my parents on their bed. Which was WAAAAAAAAAAY across the room. About 6 feet away.


I scrambled up and held on to the 'bars' of the cot with every intention of clambering over the rail, lowering myself to the ground and crawling/walking over to the warmth and safety of my mother's embrace.


But the ground looked so far away.


I distinctly remember gauging the distance, gathering my courage and then... losing it immediately. I tried psyching myself that it wasn't that far away and cast many hopeful glances at the bed willing my progenitor to wake up and gather me into their loving hands. They didn't even stir.

I gave up without attempting that jump.


I have no idea why this memory has stayed with me but it sure has figured in a LOT of the subsequent jumps I have made ever since. "Ladi are you going to wuss out and not make it out of this cot you find yourself?"


And I have made countless happy memories by reminding myself of that first recorded memory


Decisions have been made easier and I have fallen into a nice cycle where happy memories encourage me to take a chance, (or think things through) because I have sufficient perspective to realize that although this might seem like a harrowing (or exhilarating) experience at the time, it was going to end up as a happy memory I could use to motivate myself in the future.

Some of the strongest memories I have (thus far) are the ones I made in AIESEC. Particularly on stage facing hundreds of my peers and knowing... beyond a doubt... that each and every single person in the room was focused on me. And my words. For that 30min session, being able to wallow in all that attention was just nirvana for a narcissist like me.

My active AIESEC days are over, so therein lies the question? How do I recapture that feeling of all-encompassing attention on myself? DO I become a motivational speaker? Nope! I can hardly motivate myself to go to the gym... that wont wash.

Perhaps if I followed Rowling's example? How much more attention does one want knowing someone has paid to read what you wrote?

So enjoy this while you can... it's gonna cost you very soon! Heh.