To Have At Your Back

When I was researching for my speech as the Best Man at my brother's recent wedding, I came across a lot of material detailing the supposed origins of the role.

Apparently, back then marriage was more than an issue of true love. It was very serious business as marrying the right person added to your sphere of influence in the form of additional lands and titles. Marriages served to cement military alliances and were used as favors to be asked for at a later date.

In Anglo-Saxon England, the Best Man would act as a bodyguard for both the groom and the bride. During Anglo-Saxon England weddings the bride would stand to the left of her groom so that his sword arm was free. The Best Man would keep his hand on his sword ready to fend off trouble and protect the couple. Often during these times, the best swordsman in the area was chosen as the Best Man

In Nordic and Gaulish tribes, the practice was even taken to another level. Wives had to be taken by force from another tribe when the number of eligible young women dropped in your own tribe. A man had to organize a raid to 'capture' his wife and often had to fight his way through the woman's relatives. Of course the intended groom took along the best swordsman who would watch his back during the raid.

But why do I mention this at all?

No it is not because I felt like decapacitating members of my sister-in-law's family. (although come to think of it... ;-) No. My quite vivid imagination just transported me to those times. If I had lived in that period, and I needed to fight a whole village in order to reach my one true love... who would I call to watch my back?

Knowing me, I wouldnt hedge my bets in the least and would probably go with a FULL raiding party. And countless names spring to mind on who would make the cut... one name in particular would DEFINITELY be on that list:

Isaac Okanlawon (otherwise known as "Ba'Jebu")

Ba Jebu Fine Boy?, originally uploaded by Ladajay.

I have known Isaac for the last 8 years now. I met him in AIESEC. And I clearly remember my first impressions of him back then. Intense, anxious to please, brimming with curiousity and oh! so very naive! One clear memory I have is of us both being disgusted at the level of hypocrisy that existed in AIESEC in Nigeria at that time. But while I jumped on the table and screamed to the high heavens about it, Isaac sat there and grimaced. I took it to mean at the time that he wouldnt stand up for what he believed in. I was so very wrong about this.

It was a slight shock when Isaac sought my opinion on running for the position of National President of AIESEC in Nigeria. He had already been a very successful President of his local AIESEC chapter and was halfway through a term as National Director. I had to make a very bemused re-evaluation of this individual who had once paid me the ultimate compliment by expressing his desire to work on a team of which I would be National President.

The roles were completely reversed now as I was also seeking a role on the next leadership team of which he had aspirations to lead. I came to the very quick conclusion that Isaac would make a very good National President indeed. I was however still honest enough to admit to myself that there was still some way for him to go to earn my total respect! And you know what...

...He did earn it. Completely.

I dont know if I ever told him this, but while we served on the National Committee of AIESEC in Nigeria, Isaac constantly inspired me. While I was brash, arrogant and confident in my abilities., Isaac had a gentility that commanded respect among everyone while I had to demand (and got) that respect. People willingly gave their loyalty to Isaac. I would enagage LCPs in shouting matches over their unpaid dues, Isaac would appear on the scene and they readily promised to send the cheque in the post the next day.

Isaac the indecisive boy had grown up to become this purposeful leader who while still preferring diplomacy to confrontation, was not in the least bit shy about banging you over the head with the facts! (and my head got banged a few times!) There were 2 other people on our team, Kenoma and Tobi. And Isaac wasnt just THE leader, he was seen as the leader.

Apart from our professional relationship, Isaac is also something else to me. He is a true Friend. He and I had some enagaging discussions on all sorts of topics. We grew to respect and know each other's strengths and weaknesses and I like to think we could predict what the other would do or say.

One thing Isaac never seemed to lose though was his sense of naivety. He comes from a strict Christian upbringing and he always seemed to express childlike wonder at stuff that a jaded old fox like me would not even blink at. His sometimes childlike questions about girls, sex and worldly pleasures would have me rolling on the floor with laughter. Although after living in Hungary and currently residing in the Netherlands, I can bet Isaac can answer some of those questions better than I ever could now! hehe

Even now, Isaac never takes people for granted. He is not afraid to ask questions in an effort to better understand something. He is generous, cares about those closest to him and has an annoying habit of trying to leave every and anything he comes into contact with, better than he met it.

I have seen Isaac develop as an individual, he has become one of my closest friends but all through the years, Isaac hasnt changed essentially from what he was all those many years ago I first met him.

A decent human being.

So if this was the 10th century and I had to fight my way through a rampaging horde of relatives who were intent on keeping me from the love of my life, This individual would definitely be on my right side.

ISOYIN JOO!

Isaac and I at IPM in the Netherlands, originally uploaded by Ladajay.