I practiced being rude on Friday and also put someone in an awkward situation.
So the Economist Intelligence Unit had ranked 140 cities for 'liveability' and my current city of abode Auckland had come in 12th.
Lagos, the city of my birth however had scored a very disappointing but not surprising 136th position. Lagos was above countries like Harare in Zimbabwe and I think Lahore in Pakistan.
So on Friday, I overhead one of my colloeagues (who incidentally reports in to me) laugh quite loudly and he called another guy over and I overhead him point out the fact that Lagos was quite low on the ranking and he wondered if I knew about it.
It was a late on a Friday evening and I was struggling to finish some work before I went out for a much needed drink at the company social drinks and I just didnt have time to be the butt of what was frankly an insensitive jibe at my native city. But seeing that such social niceties usually flew over the indivdual in question's head, I steeled myself for the encounter.
Both colleagues walked over and started laughing and trying to explain that Lagos Nigeria was not a very nice city to live in and did I realize how bad a ranking the city had gotten. I had been preapring to give a nice little fake laugh, shrug my shoulders and "be a good sport" about it but in that split second, suddenly decided not to.
I schooled my features into the coldest, unfriendliest look I had and turned very deliberately from my work station to face them both. "What did you say?" I asked in a soft dangerous voice? (a la Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs); the second colleague who had been roped into this little mini-drama immediately sensed the danger and went very quiet.
The instigator however musnt have seen any good movies lately as to recognize the calm-before-a-storm demeanour I had put on and went straight on trying to explain how my dear city of Lagos was on the same level as war-torn cities and cities playing host to a schizrophenic megalomaniac bent on ruining his people.
"And you think this is funny because..." I asked in a slightly higher voice and thereby drawing the members of my open-plan office into the coversation.
He had finally caught on to the fact that something was wrong and his laugh wasnt coming out as smoothly or loudly as before. "No I just thought you might want to know that..."
"that the city of my birth where my parents still reside and where all my friends still are is not as perfect as can be?! And you think I would find this funny because...?????"
He was in a right panic by now and was stuttering and trying to explain away the unexplainable...
"Dude, if you dont have any work to do I would be more than happy to give you some" I said, subtly reminding him that I was going to be reviewing his arse at the end of the quarter. I turned back to my computer but not before I gave a quick wink to the second hapless guy who cottoned on so fast to the changing mood.
My would-be tormentor slunk back to his desk and the rest of my evening was immeasureably improved by the sight of his hunched shoulders and the quick glances he darted my way. But although he did come back later to apologize (I sniffed and waved my hand that it was ok) it didnt change the fact that Lagos did do very poorly in the ranking.
The five factors which were measured (traffic, culture, crime, infrastructure and I think education) are of course those things that are always highlighted as being wrong with Lagos.
However...
I hear that the executive governor of the state has been truly making a difference in the last 2 years. Seemingly intractable problems are perhaps not quite solved yet but a whole new innovative approach to solving it is been taken.
I would love for any of my friends/family resident in Lagos to please provide me some pictures, links, stories on the efforts that are being made to transform the mega-city that is Lagos. Part of my anger at my hapless colleague was in fact directed at myself that I had absolutely no defence to try and at least change his perception. All he knows now is that Ladi is a bit sensitive about the sorry state of his home city but the fundamental belief that Lagos is in a sorry state I did nothing to tackle.
This is the real tragedy I think.
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