I knew a guy once who worked (on a team of six) with five girls.
In an odd twist of fate (or hormones or monthly cycles... whatever!) All five women were visited by the "curse of the woman" at the same time one month! My friend likened it to working in a china shop with five bulls who all had head colds!
Girls, women, ladies, females of the homo sapiens species the world over deal with the "blood curse" once every 28 days on average. For some its just a minor nuisance that has to be endured and for quite a large number, it is a harrowing 3-5 day experience complete with cramps, foul temper and incapacitation in some cases. I had one of my dearest friends (who is a girl) comment that you dont look forward to it, but if you happen to be sexually active and unmarried, the ceasing of your period equates to a DEFCON 1 emergency!
It was while resident in Sweden that a discussion about how lucky we guys were that we didnt have such an "affliction" that Nisarg (an Indian dude who worked with Electrolux) came up with the guy's version of the monthly period. The four "Shes"
Shit... Shower... Shave... Shag!
And rather than once monthly... we fellas have to do this four EVERY MORNING!!!
Well... perhaps only the first one is the ONLY sure one for all guys. But your macho, bull-throwing, hunk of a jock SHOULD be getting all four done in the morning right? Sadly not always!
Some guys think they can get away with not showering and this directly affects their ability to shag. Some guys shower but do not have enough in their genes to warrant shaving every morning. And other guys shit, shower and shave and even show-off but still cannot get a shag to save their lives. And seems like all some lucky bastards get to do is shag. At whatever time they want to!
The particular cross I am bearing right now is shaving. For some strange reason, my skin has always rejected ordinary shaving razors. I have always had to use an electric clipper to shave. And it seems I am unable to find a reasonably sharp enough electric clipper here in Auckland. And I have tried. But I just wasnt getting a close enough shave!
So I decided to try the new Gillette Fusion 5-in-one razor. It has a battery that makes it vibrate as you use and I thought maybe this would do the trick. How wrong I was! As usual, my skin did feel like a baby's bum right after using the damn razor! but now 3 days later, its like I have a skin infection! My skin is reacting so badly to the razor and the baby smoothness almost seems like a dream now. I persisted and shaved again the next morning and the morning after that. I heard somewhere that if you use a razor, you need to do it everyday. I wish I knew who told me that... so I could break their head. It's much worse.
So I have to go to the pharmacist now and ask if there is any special cream I can use for shaving irritation! I can at least do the first two "shes" unfailingly and always smell like a million dollars and not be so full of shit!
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2 comments:
Apply aloe vera on your face 43 mins 32 seconds before shaving. It has to be exactly that time btw when you apply the first bit of aloe vera and when teh blade hits ur skin. Try that and you should be fine..if you miss it and you get bumps, dont blame me!
Which bear bear you dey shave sef:-)
Dude, you are obviously still wet behind the ears on this one.
By the nature of a black man's facial hair, daily shave is required if you use a razor or electric shaving blade.
Which beer beer your dey shave sef?
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