My Brother... My Friend

I have a lot of brothers. From all around the world. Individuals who only need to call (on Skype, MSN or the more conventional phone) and I will do all in my power to answer their call. Brothers I have shared experiences with, gotten in trouble with and chased women with. (apologies)

However, I have only the ONE brother who was actually an occupant of my biological mother's womb. As a matter of fact, he was the immediate past occupant of said womb.

There is a saying I once heard, 'There is no feud more bitter than a feud between blood kin..". And I have met a lot of siblings who - to put it delicately - dont get along at all.

Happily, this is NOT the case between my brother Oluwasegun Bankole Ajayi and I. And you can call him Segs. (sounds like 'sex' with a lisp doesnt it?) If you are Nigerian, you will probably call him "Segun" (pronounced "SHAY-gun)

Segun and I are quite different people

- We look nothing alike (as you can see from the picture above).
- He belonged to the equivalent of the "Phi Beta Kappa" society/sorority in University and always thought I was wasting my time with AIESEC;
- he has always had impeccable taste for fashion, I generally wear it if its clean;
he was a car freak and knew what the latest innovations were. I couldnt be bothered
- We were never interested in the same type of girls (although we both are charmers)

Compared to my older siblings (I have three including Segun) I came along quite late and Segun was already a bustling over-pampered four year old who thought he was going to be the 'baby' of the house forever. I knocked him off that perch.

Our first major altercation was when I was a few months old, my mum walked in on him holding me upside down in my cot. He claimed he was looking for the batteries that made me cry and move.

In those early years, we had a love-hate relationship. Many a time would Segun would sock me a really good whallop and I would run crying to my mum. Of course 5 mins after she made me sit with her, I would be itching to go hang out with my big bro again!

There were times when I really thought I hated him but these were only the times he wouldnt let me tag along with him on his numerous adventures (or so it seemed at the time) and I wished desprately I was older than I was because his favorite excuse was, "you're not old enough..." As a matter of fact

In University, although I had no interest in the "party clubs" he was a member of (I made a straight bee-line for the AIESEC office), it was ALWAYS with a sense of pride when someone refered to me as, "Segun Ajayi's brother...". I was quite happy with that title and indeed often introduced myself as such. (Hi, my name is Ladi, Segun's brother)

For almost 3 decades, my brother has been the epitome of cool for me. He made me laugh, makes me laugh and will continue to crack me up. He is the ONE person I can tell any joke to. He ALWAYS gets it. In his own way, he has looked out for me and made sure I made the right decisions for myself. Even though I like to pretend otherwise, getting the stamp of approval from my brother on ANYTHING I put my hand to is very important... (Happy was the day when he announced, "AIESEC has been good to you"

He is one of two individuals who have taught me the art of genorosity through their actions. He gives of himself and his possessions with total abandon and a genuine desire to help. However once he says no, its pretty hard to dissuade him. Extremely hard I should say. He is one of those who say they dont care what other people are saying and doing AND actually MEAN IT.

And now Segun is getting married. And I am the best man!

The sense of pride and deep emotion I felt when Segun asked me to be his best man cannot be expressed in words. To be honest, I wouldnt have been offended or slighted if he had chosen one of his close friends. But he didnt. He asked me. And what I said, about answering the call at the beginning... it certainly applies here. I am flying literally half-way across the world, paying thru the nose and even risking another blood clot issue (ok maybe not...doctor has cleared me) to be at my brother's wedding... it couldnt be any other way.

SO, 20 days from now, i will be taking a 27 hour flight to stand with pride (and a steadying hand) beside my big bruvver on potentially one of the happiest days of his life. For all the happy times, the tickling sessions as a kid, even the pummelings which sent me screaming to mum; the numerous times he has come to my aid with no questions asked; the listening ear and tough love he has shown me over the years...

Here is to a big brother who without effort lives up to the name of friend, brother, confidante, charm school instructor and sometime stand-up comedian. Your bride-to-be has absolutely no idea how lucky she is... Or maybe she does...