Golden Jubilee of True Love...

Prof and Mrs JF Ade Ajayi



















"...and may you meet the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh"

So said my Aunt, Mrs Christie Ade Ajayi when I called her up in October to wish her hearty congratulations on staying with the same man for 50 years!

Yep! You read right! Prof. and Mrs Jacob Festus & Christie Ade Ajayi celebrated FIVE DECADES of marriage in October 2006. That is more time on this earth than MOST PEOPLE who have ever visited my blog (or generally visit blogs) have lived.

But who exactly is this couple? And what do they mean to me?

My Dad has nine brothers and one sister (officially). My late Grandfather had two wives (very normal back in those days... and still a common practice in Nigeria even till this day) and between both wives they managed to have more than 15 children. Of which maybe 4 or 5 did not make it to adulthood. (High infant mortality in those days)

Prof JF Ade Ajayi is the first son and 'heir' if you will, to my late Granpappy who was the King's secretary and a very important man in the town back then. Being the first son of such a huge and respected family meant a lot of responsibility and high expectations. Expectations he has met many many times over and responsibility he has shouldered with grace and magnanimous humility.

Big words I know. But the man himself would expect no less from me. A Professor Emeritus of History, former Vice-Chancellor of a University and world renowned academic and leading scholar. But I am guessing... that he would count his more successful roles as a husband and father of five. Married to the formidable "Mummy 1" as we all call her, my aunt who is a leading early childhood psychology and learning expert in her own right; and writer of children's books, this couple is one of the prime reasons (together with my own parents) I belive in true love.

I mean... it cant be easy to stay married to the same person for half a century right? You have to be in love, true unconditional love to do it. Strong enough to weather the inevitable rough patches, worries, highs and lows wedded life must bring. Especially in these present times of increased divorce rates and selfish individuals who dont know the meaning of sacrifice anymore.

My earliest memories of Prof and his wife are going to their nice quarters in the University of Ibadan, Nigeria where my aunt had (and still has) some of the coolest literature for a 6 year old boy who absolutely loved to read. And there always seemed to be an endless supply of cookies and soda. And lunch there was always such a stately affair, with my mum always telling me to stop slouching and sit straight and my aunt more concerned with if I had enough meat on my plate!




With their offspring from Left: Bisi-Interior Designer; Yetunde-Lawyer; Niyi-Pediatric Surgeon; Titi-Architect; Funmi-Investment Banker. 5 of their very many successful collaborations together

My uncle retired (but being an Emeritus still retained his office in the university) and they moved in the late 80's i think, to this stately white house where I was to spend a lot of my formative years as an undergraduate at the University of Ibadan.

Nigeria being a collective society, moving away from home to University doesnt actually qualify as 'flying the coop'. If you have relatives in the same city you are expected to go there every Sunday at the very least and eat lunch . I took it to the extreme at a point and abandoned 'my digs' in the University halls of residence and just went from Prof's house to my lectures. I ate better at any rate and could always borrow my aunt's old car from time to time for the odd date or party in town. And with her permission most of the time too (cheeky grin!)

This was the funny thing. My aunt is generally considered to be a "tough old cookie" who didnt brook nonsense from anybody but I somehow ALWAYS found it eaiser to ask those outreageous favors (like borrowing the car for the whole night) from her than from my uncle. Prof. spent (and still spends I guess) a huge amount of time in his study which consisted of a 2-floor library and some 2-3 staff to run it. The University History department used to ask permission to do research in the library for crying out loud! Walking to the study door and knocking to disturb my uncle was always a second choice thats for sure. Never the most expressive of men, my uncle would peer out at me from over the top of his reading glasses and I could never be sure what he was thinking exactly. He never wasted words either. I definitely prefered 'bothering' my aunt. At least with her, you knew EXACTLY where you stood!

But at the same time, I pride myself on being able to chat quite extensively with my Uncle. I especially remember one conversation about slavery and how hollywood movies seemed to make out that all slave owners had this really harmonious relationship with their slaves back then. This when we watched the Mel Gibson movie, "The Patriot" together.

As you celebrate this huge huge milestone, I would like this to be my own tribute to a couple who have meant many things to very many people but most especially to me, for being the kindly 'grandparents' who tolerated my excesses and remain an inspiration to me and a shining example of how I want to live my life.

Happy 50th wedding anniversary "Daddy and Mummy UI"!

I take on board my aunt's prayer for me that may I find "...bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" and spend at least a half century with her as well. (I actually might already have!)
Simone on the NZ MC made a post on her blog recently about her parent's 25th wedding anniversary (i think) and I remember thinking at the time, "very impressive Simone, (which it is) let me introduce you to my uncle and aunt one of these days, or even to my parents who also celebrate 40 years next year in 2007."



The "Tribe of Jacob"! (Surrounded by kids, in-laws and grandkids)